Screaming 6 Times

 

          Having seen the first two films a few years back, I watched all Scream films and then went to see the new Scream 6 that just came out. Yes, these are slasher films with varying degrees of gore. But it’s also the most meta horror franchise that rose to incredible success with the original’s classic surprise twist at the end. The films both follow horror movie “rules” as well as try to put their own spin and keep things fresh to keep their fans guessing. These are my picks on how I’m ranking them all going down worst to best.

 

#6: Scream 3

Score: 5/10

          Two films in the series have a consensus on where they land in their rankings, and I fall in line with those—the first being that Scream 3 is the worst in the series. And I do agree with this assessment; however, considering I had already heard it was the worst, I feel like my score reflects that it’s not terrible, more like it’s simply mediocre. After the OG and a very competent sequel, the studio knew they had to switch up the formula more than before. This meant that our classic Ghostface killer(s) is now targeting the cast of Stab 3, the in-universe movie franchise based on the events from the first films. And where the first two films I’d describe as horror films first with comedy mixed in, I’d flip it here to say the comedy was more of a focus. This is front and center during one of the death scenes that takes place in a studio office and our soon-to-be victim keeps trying to defend herself, but every weapon she grabs is a prop weapon. And to be fair, this really made me laugh and was my favorite scene from the film.

          Scream 3 does a decent enough job of moving the characters’ lives forward, but as far as the main additions destined for their own deaths, character decisions feel more idiotic than before. The jump scares also don’t land. This film clearly has the highest budget of the trilogy, and it’s a prime example of bigger not equating to better. The film leans completely into its Hollywood nature and even includes a couple of cameos that mostly fall flat (the Carrie Fisher one isn’t bad). There’s a big scene that ends in a giant explosion, and it’s just way over-the-top and feels a little removed from the slight sensibility that this franchise stays in the realm of realism.

          They also really stretch the red herrings. The reveal at the end is easily the worst in the franchise, but there is a popular fan theory that would bring this movie from a 5 to a 6, but that doesn’t seem to hold too much weight. Outside of Patrick Dempsey, this is possibly the weakest cast. I’m sorry, but I also have to mention that Courtney Cox’s hair is truly criminal here. And most unfortunately, there’s plenty of jokes about actors being sleazy with producers to get roles… and Harvey Weinstein is a producer. This still isn’t a terrible movie, but it clearly remains the worst.

 

#5: Scream 4

Score: 7/10

          Again, the jump in score here is quite intentional. And I want to mention that the margin between Scream 4 and the next two picks is minimal and I wouldn’t blame people for disagreeing with my order here. After over a decade’s absence, Scream 4 came along as a soft reboot with Neve Campbell’s Sidney Prescott still front and center. Where the first 3 films actually followed Courtney Cox and David Arquette’s relationship surprisingly close to real life including their marriage for 3, the same applies with this film taking place right around when they split.

          The idea of the in-universe Stab movies still hold a strong place, and they keep up with the times by having characters obsessed with the ability to live stream events and how this could possibly connect with Ghostface’s motive. The series returns to the city of Woodsboro where Sidney Prescott is now marketing her book based on the events from the original movie. Couple that with her cousin played by Emma Roberts, and you have a ripe setting for a new series of killings. The great Alison Brie plays Sidney’s manager, David Arquette’s Dewey is now sheriff and has a by-the-books deputy, and Hayden Panettiere rounds out this fun cast. Oh, and Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell play our women at the beginning that receive an unannounced call from Ghostface.

          The reveal at the end is arguably the best outside the original, the film suitably has a more serious tone akin to the first two films while keeping its self-aware nature, and it’s overall a fun return to form. The kills are overall unspectacular, but for the last Scream film to be directed by Wes Craven, it’s too bad in a way that this film wasn’t too successful and once again put things on ice.

 

#4: Scream 6

Score: 7/10

          When it was announced that Neve Campbell wouldn’t return over a pay dispute, that didn’t seem like the best sign when your franchise star is finally out. The only returner here is now Courtney Cox (as well as Roger Jackson continuing to be the voice of Ghostface on the phone). But all successful franchises need to evolve, and it actually goes into a concept I think a lot about. Cox delivers just a few lines of how Sydney and her family have taken shelter, but she also says a very important line about how everyone deserves their happy ending. If we’re truly rooting for our main character to come out on top, at some point you don’t want anymore sequels if it means endangering our hero again. This also provided an opportunity to let Cox shine a bit more as well as turn the spotlight on our returning characters from the fifth installment.

          This might feel like an odd comparison, but some of the best Mission Impossible films have been the most recent that have seen Tom Cruise continue to team up with both characters in the past as well as keeping with writer/director Christopher McQuarrie. Since many of those introductions are already in place, now you get to hone more on the story as well as character arcs. Such is the case here when co-directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett took over with Scream 5 since Wes Craven had passed away due to cancer. We continue to follow the high schooler survivors from the previous film as they now cautiously attend college in New York. This helps expand our characters’ lives as well as the sense of scope.

The directors previously made the highly underrated Ready or Not, and they brought the star of that film Samara Weaving to be the girl that receives a call from Ghostface at the beginning of the film. Weaving absolutely kills it, pun slightly intended, and is the case with the previous film, right from the start we’re honoring traditions of the franchise as well as taking things in new directions, and it’s a very strong start. In fact, I enjoyed this opening so much, I’d even say it’s my favorite of the franchise.

          I believe this film has the most deaths, and there’s a suitable amount of gore to fit, but as a very slight spoiler, the vast majority of deaths are from bit roles. The death scenes also don’t quite live up to the amazing kills in 5, but there is a really tense scene that takes place on a New York subway on Halloween. Which makes me wonder why this film received a mid-March release which doesn’t feel like peak horror season, but the box office returns have basically been the strongest in the series, and I’m happy to see it.

          This film features the most frightening Ghostface with the biggest deviation to his look too with a worn looking mask instead of the pristine white look. Ghostface wields a shotgun for one scene, and where you can tell in previous films that Ghostface is able to be kicked and smacked around a bit and let some of the characters escape (at least until the climax), you feel that Ghostface moves with more agility here and truly feels like the biggest threat the characters have ever faced.

          This movie by no means will bring you to tears, but since Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega have taken over as the new stars of the franchise, this movie is actually the most thematic of the bunch. Also, near the end they basically rip off Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and I’m not upset by that. Honestly, despite the most kills here, again minor spoiler, but there’s a lot of stabbing that happens, but not enough true deaths. Including Hayden Panattiere in this next statement, there should’ve been at least one more returning character to receive a fatal blow (not gonna say here who lives and who doesn’t). I enjoyed this movie a lot and how it honored the series while keeping fans on their toes as to who’s behind the mask. This film is not #4 because it’s bad, but because the films ranked above are truly good horror movies that slightly edges this one out.

 

#3: Scream 2

Score: 7/10

          This might sound a little familiar, but we follow our surviving characters from the original as they navigate life in college. I love that Liev Schreiber returns from his blink and you miss it role as Cotton, where Sydney accused him in the first film of murdering her mom, and now he plays a prominent role here trying to do everything he can publicly to show that he’s an innocent man—but there’s still a sense of uneasiness surrounding him. Sydney, Dewey, and Cox’s Gale Weathers all return, along with Randy too. And this is one of the best casts of the franchise with Jada Pinkett (not yet adding Smith to her last name here) and Omar Epps as our opening scene victims which takes place at a screening of Stab showcasing the fictionalized version of the opening scene from the first film. Gale has a new cameraman, Sydney has a new boyfriend, and Sarah Michelle Gellar and Timothy Olyphant add their names to the cast as possible victims or suspects.

          Despite the fact that there were script changes, I believe even who the killers would end up being, because of script leaks on the internet, I thought Scream 2 did a great job of not just rehashing the original and throwing in some good red herrings. This one felt more like a true horror film rather than the comedic elements, but it of course contains meta dialogue about being a sequel. It doesn’t surpass the original, but there’s a few standout sequences including the suspenseful car crash and a knocked out Ghostface inside the cop car. Honestly, I might be adding some extra points here, but following up on the success of the original was a really tall task, and I’m impressed on how they pulled it off.

 

#2: Scream 5 (technically just Scream 2022)

Score: 8/10

          This was easily the biggest shock for me, but after Scream 4 didn’t perform amazing, there was a TV show that maybe lasted a couple seasons, and Wes Craven passed away, it didn’t seem like there was too much of a point in continuing the franchise. But not only did they bring back the three legacy characters, but they bring in fresh new faces (like Jenna Ortega) in what is self-proclaimed as a requel—a reboot sequel. It’s one of the most meta of the franchise, but I actually found it quite funny how they talked about the rules of a requel and kept the film itself fresh—the easiest comparison to make would be the sequel franchise of Star Wars.

          I’ll hold my claim that Scream 6 has the best opening, but after the original, I’d put this opening as the best. I'll go ahead and say it, I jumped multiple times during the opening scene. But points have to be taken off because it involves Jenna Ortega and she calls The Babadook her favorite horror movie which I simply can’t support.

          Having the connections to Sydney wearing thin, the true new star here is Melissa Barrera who plays Sam—the daughter of the original killer. And they bring back the original killer using to me what appears to be deep fake technology; it actually looks pretty good, but it is still a deep fake. Instead of Sam being a clone of Sydney, her deep fake father (a description I’d like to see used more, I think it sounds funny) speaks to her periodically in her subconscious to have her embrace the serial killer blood inside her. Questioning her own motives, she returns to Woodsboro to protect her sister played by Ortega, and this brings our legacy characters back as well. Jack Quaid of The Boys fame plays Sam’s boyfriend, Dylan Minnete plays the son of Deputy Hicks from the previous film, and there’s plenty more characters (like the niece and nephew of Randy) to add suspicion and body counts.

          Having come out only a year ago, maybe it’s the fact that I just watched all the movies recently, but this being a modern movie just looks really good. The kills are well done scenes, the acting is on par, and this is genuinely just a good movie.

          Cox clearly now also has botox going, and yikes. Not Scream 3 haircut yikes, but it’s still quite noticeable. There’s one too many meta references, and the ending twist isn’t as strong as Scream 4; however, the motivation felt better this time around keeping up with the times in how it has to approach its characters and kills—like characters using find my phone or using their phone flashlights to explore dark rooms.

 

#1: Scream

Score: 8/10

          This isn’t a twist ending selection, and that’s okay! The original is highly regarded for a reason. Directed by Wes Craven, the horror scenes are all really well shot, and this film is elevated above the fatigued slasher genre with its meta references and terrific twist ending. Along with the aforementioned legacy characters, Drew Barrymore is the original opening scene kill and has instantly quotable lines on the phone with Ghostface. Freaking Henry Winkler is here, and it’s hard to live up to Matthew Lillard’s Stu.

          As fond as I am of this movie, an 8/10 is an appropriate score. It’s not a perfect film that lulls a little in the middle. But not only does its dialogue contain references to horror franchises of past—including those directed by Craven—there’s also plenty of visual Easter eggs as well, like the school janitor wearing clothes resembling Freddy from A Nightmare on Elm Street (or the fact that there’s a literal Elm Street in Woodsboro). Our Ghostface is targeting Sydney Prescott, and she’s trying to understand why while also still processing the death of her mother from a year ago.

          Essentially, all these films contain Ghostface killers trying to seek revenge on Sydney for some reason or another, and plenty of characters get the knife by association around her. Then, there’s a highly ill-conceived party during these killings, and that’s where our climax always takes place, and there’s a dramatic reveal of the Ghostface killer(s) as they proceed to monologue their motivation(s). This might feel like a spoiler, but this film came out over 20 year ago, so I feel okay saying that one huge factor that this franchise has over others is that there’s almost always 2 killers. This instantly provides rewatchability as you try to decipher who is the Ghostface at what point during the film. I feel like slashers are oft regarded as some of the lowest form of horror movies, and there’s absolute validity in that statement. Promiscuous and mostly dumb characters party it up and get hacked by a masked killer, there’s lots of blood, and usually no reasoning for it outside of entertainment value. I’m not here to say that the Scream franchise is the crème de la crème of horror movies, but it’s easily the best slasher franchise ever, and I’d even argue that all of the films outside of Scream 3 are good movies regardless of genre. This doesn’t mean this franchise is for everybody, but with 6 films now under its belt, it can be a bloody good time for those looking for some frights and a bit of humor thrown in.

Elvis, Bad Boys, and The French Dispatch

 

Elvis

Gillipedia Official Rating: Kentucky Fried Tom Hanks

Score: 5/10

          We’ll start this off by saying Austin Powers fully deserves his Oscar nomination for Best Actor. Half of his screen presence is simply smirking toward the camera, but he nails the look, the moves, and most of the singing is his own. Unfortunately, surrounding his performance is a bloated movie edited to death without much to say and suffering a fate of mediocrity. The movie chronicles the entire life of Elvis, but a huge component of the film is an aspect I wasn’t aware of at all which is the wishbone relationship with Elvis’ business manager. Manager Colonel Tom Parker is played by Tom Hanks, and it pains me to say this is where the film’s cracks loom largest.

          We’re introduced to the Colonel on his death bed recounting his time and egotistically defending his actions by propelling Elvis to stardom. And Hanks uses a ridiculous Southern accent. I briefly listened to an interview with the real Colonel, and sure there’s a definite accent, but the way Hanks’ voice is higher-pitched and the accent over-the-top is so grating to listen to. And his supporting role is quite prevalent not only during his scenes, but he also serves as the film’s narrator.

          As the Colonel narrates about success, we’re thrust into a big Elvis performance which feels like it could’ve been shot for a music video. There’s lots of energy, many cuts, closeups of Elvis and his -ahem- sweaty thrusting, and so many shots of screaming young women. So many shots of them… It all works enough to whet the appetite of what’s to come from the greatest selling single artist. We then get a taste of Elvis’ humble beginnings and ties to family and how living around a black community influenced his musical taste. We also are treated to some singing by Gary Clark, Jr. There’s shoutouts to Baton Rouge and Shreveport in Louisiana and the famous Louisiana Hayride show which helped Elvis get discovered. And for over 2 and a half hours, we go through all the typical musical biopic scenes of success, romance, financials, drug use, and thankfully, great songs.

          The Great Gatsby director Baz Luhrmann wrote and directed this film. You may also remember he did the modern adaption of Romeo and Juliet with DiCaprio. And he brings that not-so-subtle directing to this film. It’s incredibly heavy-handed and leaves zero interpretation up to the audience. There’s also not much to sink your teeth into anyways. There’s some intrigue on Elvis’ close relationship to his mother and how the Colonel takes advantage of the gap created once his mother passes away, but that’s one small piece to a very large puzzle that doesn’t fit together all that well.

          The movie wants to tell so much of Elvis’ life, and it also wants to have plenty of musical moments. The issue is that virtually all of it is shot like a music video which becomes exhausting way too quickly. One video I watched recently talked about how lots of editing doesn’t equal good editing. And I think that statement fits Elvis in spades. Outside of the Louisiana Hayride performance that had a buildup of this unknown artist that has an unexpected effect on the young female crowd, there’s really only 1 speed throughout the rest of the performances. There’s so many back and forth shots to Elvis and fans and critics in the crowd, and it’s all just repeated information. When the emotional expression of a character hasn’t changed, the only reason to cut back to them would be intentional repetition. And that is a valid argument to make up to an extent. But when your film balloons to the length that it is, there has to be purpose in your scenes. We go through the motions of Elvis’ life in story beats, but we aren’t presented with overarching goals with the exception of knowing the Colonel is shady but we don’t know how exactly that will come into play.

          I think Elvis has an amazing voice and has some true classics, and to the film’s credit, it does showcase a strong catalogue of songs. There will inevitably be comparisons to Bohemian Rhapsody, and this film honestly didn’t emotionally connect as much as Bohemian Rhapsody. And that is in part due to the Colonel. He is never presented to be a likable character, but I never got over Hanks’ voice. Arguably more sinful than Hanks in this film is the fact that, to my knowledge, there wasn’t a single peanut butter and banana sandwich consumed. One small detail I remember hearing about as well was how Elvis had a mini fridge inside his car, and yes that’s such a tiny thing, but I was really hoping to see that too. Nevertheless, Powers carries the film, and despite the exhausting quick editing, another saving grace is the fact that Elvis does in fact have really good songs. But would I say this movie is worthy of being called a Best Picture Nominee? Mmmm, I don’t think so.

 

Bad Boys

Gillipedia Official Rating: Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Possibly stop watching before you reach the credits.

Score: 4/10

 

          This turned out to be Michael Bay’s feature film directorial debut, and it really set the tone of what to expect from future films of his (explosions, scantily clad women, and sweeping camera shots) mostly for the worse. I wish there was a baked in word to describe how I feel about Bad Boys, but the only thing I can think of right now is that it’s not good. In fact, it’s very not good.

          There have been plenty of buddy cop films played to more dramatic and comedic effects with varying degrees of success. First example of it done well that comes to mind is Jake Gylenhaal and Michael Pena bantering back and forth but taking a more dramatic turn in End of Watch. And it pains me to say this, but Martin Lawrence and Will Smith annoyed me more than anything—it was just them constantly yelling at each other about the same stupid stuff.

          And this tone is set from the first scene. Our protagonists are driving in Will Smith’s expensive car and give us some exposition about Lawrence having a family and Smith being more of the womanizer and being able to afford the car because of his wealthy family. And it’s not like my ribs are hurting, but I’m not so stiff to say there isn’t at least a joke or two that will make you laugh. They pull over and get distracted by a hooker walking in front of them. While they’re distracted, some drug dealer henchmen hold them at gunpoint. And while I understand this is supposed to be a comedic movie, the action frustrated me. Because there’s legitimate situations where it feels like wow, this seems to be like quite the pickle; I wonder what clever way our characters will think of to get out of the situation… Not only are the situations not clever, the script never knew how to fully get the characters out either, so oftentimes it’s just our guys -ahem- our boys pulling their guns, start shooting, maybe get a guy, and then hiding for cover as bad guys aim at explodable objects to cause utter chaos.

          While Smith and Lawrence yell at each other, both of them get yelled at by their boss played by the always yelling Joe Pantoliano (Memento and The Matrix) who is always being threatened of being demoted by his supervisor. To be fair, Pantoliano’s best acting trait is his ability to yell. Anyways, a call girl that Smith knew invites her friend played by Tea Leoni to a job at a guy’s house, but the guy gets killed by the big not good drug dealers with Leoni narrowly escaping. And that propels our plot where our heroes try to keep Leoni alive as they try to figure out this mystery of both who killed her friend, but also a possible inside job where their bust of large amounts of cocaine are stolen from the police department.

          There’s lots of stuff that doesn’t make sense in this film, but possibly the biggest question mark here is the whole setup of Leoni, Lawrence, and Smith. Lawrence goes to try to find Leoni on his own, and why is he by himself? Pretty sure when he tells Smith about his plans, Smith says something like, “Nah, I’m good.” Like it’s some really dumb reason to separate the two, but it is critical for one of the biggest gags of the whole film. Leoni only will trust Smith’s character because her friend trusted him, but she never met him, so when Lawrence comes knocking, he quickly pretends to be Smith to gain her trust. So from this point forth, we have Lawrence sometimes doing a really bad Smith impression and the gags that come with the character crossover of living each other’s lives. And again, some of the jokes that come with this are in fact funny, but the setup of everything is just so silly. There’s even a scene where Smith and Lawrence go investigate at a club. First, I don’t remember the logic of why they knew to check it out to begin with. But anyways, they keep Leoni at Smith’s apartment for her protection. And then inexplicably, she gets tired of being in this witness protection, so she just leaves the apartment and then gets caught up in the action at the club. It’s baffling as to the character motivations because it’s all just to serve the purpose of oh we need characters to go here and I think it would be funny or cool if this happened. It’s like there’s lots of dots the film wanted to hit and didn’t care how it connected them.

          Michael Bay has had some really cool action moments throughout his career. Early on, The Rock was a cool hit, I was thoroughly impressed by 13 Hours, and even 6 Underground and Ambulance have their moments. But before he got there, he first did Bad Boys. I like that there’s some practical stuff, but it’s impossible to follow closely to what’s happening—there’s simply too main shaky cam shots and extreme closeups of characters yelling stuff like, “Shoot! Shoot!”

          Ultimately, the jokes are too crass, the characters are non-sensical in what they say and do, and the action doesn’t hold up decades later. It’s one of those films that you may feel cool for being able to say you’ve seen if you’re in like middle school, but it won’t impress many others. I haven’t seen the third film, but for what it’s worth, the sequel is marginally better.

 

The French Dispatch

Gillipedia Official Rating: Quirkier than your middle toe. Don’t ask, I don’t know what I mean by that either, but I stand behind it.

Score: 9/10

 

          The Royal Tenenbaums and The Grand Budapest Hotel may reign supreme for Wes Anderson films, but The French Dispatch makes it case for excellency. This unfortunately was a film released in 2021 when people still weren’t really back in theaters, and there was so little marketing that hardly anyone watched this movie. Which is such a shame because it’s an absolute master class. The directing is top-notch, this is one of Anderson’s best written films, and there is his signature, symmetrical, and monochromatic color schemes in spades.

          The French Dispatch is a newspaper reporting on French news but is run and edited in the States by Bill Murray. Upon his character’s death, the rest of the staff releases one final issue, and the film is split into four parts for the different sections of the paper. These are self-contained stories with the only overlap being that the journalists of the titular paper are reporting on the events happening. And each story is absolutely star-studded too. Again, this movie did not make its money back, but boy is it beautiful to look at and stuffed with name after name of Anderson usuals and big names alike.

 

The Cycling Reporter

          This is the shortest segment featuring Owen Wilson really setting the stage for what ride you’re in for for the rest of the film. He rides around a small town, sometimes narrating, sometimes talking directly to the camera. We’re shown how the town looked in the past versus changes to it now, and it’s some of the first instances of The French Dispatch’s quirks of storytelling as well as the mesmerizing way Anderson shoots every shot. Where the first film in this review is shot to death, and in Bad Boys there’s sometimes little thought to the composition of a shot, it feels like there’s purpose in every frame, every set decoration, costume, and where each character—whether main or extra—is placed. We’re also treated to a fantastic score by Alexandre Desplat.

 

The Concrete Masterpiece

          This might be my favorite segment. It’s also where the movie earns its R rating. Lea Seydoux poses nude for art in multiple scenes. Not only is it never shot in a sexual or exploitative nature, it fits perfectly in Anderson’s quirky world where it mocks abstract artwork that is sold for exuberant prices because a few elites tell people it’s worth that much.

          Adrien Brody is so enamored by Benicio Del Toro’s artistic ability that he commissions him to work on a new series. So influential, Del Toro’s work is discussed in like a seminar hosted by Tilda Swinton—an actress born for director Anderson’s quirky style. There’s narration in place in every story by the journalists, and Swinton is that narrator here. We soon become aware that not only is Seydoux acting as Del Toro’s muse, but she is also his prison guard. When Brody first arrives to discuss his plans with Del Toro, there are quick exchanges among the characters; however, the majority of the narrative and humor is driven by the eyes. It’s incredible how much story and humor is told here and throughout the movie simply with body movement. What Anderson does incredibly well with his intricately designed sets is know where to place movement. There’s always plenty of symmetry in how he frames a shot, so he directs the audience’s attention by only having a small section of the frame moving at a time. In the case of this particular scene, it’s mostly just Brody, Seydoux, and Del Toro, so there’s lots of closeup shots with the story told through the eyes—the way Del Toro looks over to Seydoux and she subtly nods or blinks her approval for him to move forward with any deal.

          From there, Anderson satirizes the way some art is given value over others, and the big opening once the pieces are done is a highlight scene.

 

Revisions of a Manifesto

 

          Frances McDormand is our journalist for this section as she details her influence over disputes between young rebellions and government. She repeatedly and humorously talks about her journalist integrity by staying neutral, and then she proceeds to offer her advise to Timothee Chalamet, the leader of one side. Instead of gory action scene or large rebellions like the one from Les Miserables, it’s more of a battle of wits here, sprinklings of chess playing and manifesto reading. I found it absolutely hilarious the way sides would try skimming sections being referenced in the manifesto by literally mumbling through their readings.

          There’s lots of cameos from great actors here, but I’d argue the combination of McDormand and Chalamet fits Anderson’s style the best in how they interact with each other. The dialogue is quick, the messaging is interesting, and it’s one of the funnier sections of the film. At first I found myself wondering what the real point of this movie was, but as you dive into the meatier sections of the film, you worry less about overall structure and find yourself simply enjoying the mostly self-contained narratives for what they are. There aren’t any clear high or lowlights, and that works to The French Dispatch’s advantage of consistently keeping the audience engaged through this pretty brisk film.

 

The Private Dining Room of the Police Commissioner

 

          Our final segment is by the self-critical Jeffrey Wright—a consistently underrated actor. Placing this section last makes the most sense as it’s the one that also references the relationship among the editor and journalists the most; Wright has a sense of obligation and even pride for Murray giving him a chance to write. And Wright does write which is the right thing to do—dare I say a rite of passage.

          The pacing is also quickest here. There’s a peculiar chef, the commissioner, and a dinner that is interrupted by kidnappers taking the commissioner’s son. This leads to a car chase that turns to an almost cartoon-style 2D animation that still feels completely aligned with Anderson’s vision—he did direct Isle of Dogs and Fantastic Mr. Fox after all. Not to be outdone by the other sections, there’s actors galore here including Saiorse Ronan in a deviously small role. In fact, if you’re using this review to determine how many big actors have roles here, you’re wasting your breath because I probably haven’t even named half of the actors that I recognized in this film.

          This last section I’d argue is the most artistic of them all with the most development in terms of Wright reflecting back on this piece and its influences on himself. I’m someone that enjoys being able to recognize familiar faces in films, and this film has that in spades, in clubs, and more. But if you don’t have an interesting surrounding story, that shine only goes so far. Not only is this a quick film separated into sections each with their own intrigue, but it continues Anderson’s incredible eye for framing and one of the best scores in his films ever. The fact that this film wasn’t nominated for anything like director, production design, editing, or score is absolutely criminal. The French Dispatch was one of the best films of 2021, and it’s a shame I waited this long to watch it and that it was overlooked by so many when it came out.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

 

Gillipedia Official Rating: Disappointed there isn’t a scene where Keanu Reeves appears and says, “I need ants. Lots of ants.”

Score: 6/10

          I don’t have a particularly controversial take on the new Ant-Man movie. It’s an entertaining, funny Marvel movie that sets up future phases of films. There’s no introspective themes to dive into, no shocking plot twists, but very arguably, it embraces what has made Ant-Man successful in the past—embracing the sillier side of Marvel with the bite-sized hero and star Paul Rudd. Perhaps what I can do for this review is explain what worked and what wasn’t as successful, and even add a suggestion or two on what I would’ve done differently.

          Fans seemed to overall enjoy this movie and laud Jonathan Majors as the main antagonist Kang the Conqueror, while critics place this as a bottom-tier Marvel film. And there are definitely Marvel movies worse than this one, so placing it right at the bottom is too harsh in my books. Kang and his stoic presence provides a terrific contrast to the other light-hearted elements of the film. One thing I really appreciate is the believability of the story on its whole... Well, in terms of believing a movie about an ant-themed superhero that is. As more Avengers come into the fold of larger universes, it becomes increasingly difficult to contain superheroes to their solo films without valid questions of, “But why didn’t -insert hero here- show up to help save the day?” And the Quantum Realm serves as a great location to keep things to Ant-Man, Wasp, and their family. And I can also see how Kang wasn’t a part of earlier films because he’s spent so much time trapped in this realm, and to avoid spoilers, his reasons for trying to escape. Which, very quick aside here, I’m not sure I’m completely sold yet on Kang having the best motives, but we’ll see how his character plays out in the future.

          I think one thing that frustrated me was the opening scene. We see Michelle Pfeiffer early on when she was trapped in the Quantum Realm, and the scene ends with her meeting Kang. Anyone who follows the MCU at least a little will know exactly who he is. But we’re going to spend the next 90 minutes with characters literally referencing “him” almost in the same breath of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named like it’s a big reveal that there’s a villain in this realm. I don’t like the tease at the beginning if you’re going to build it up so much for the first two-thirds of the film.

          What is more successful is our quick opening. The film does an excellent job of quickly getting its exposition out of the way of where our characters are at in their lives because an overwhelming amount of this movie is spent in the Quantum Realm. With that said there isn’t Luis or some of the other Ant-Man characters that I would’ve enjoyed seeing for this third film. Paul Rudd’s Scott Lang is coasting on his contributions to the Avengers and trying to maintain a steady lifestyle for a family unit that he has never truly been a part of himself. Evangeline Lilly’s Hope works on science-y stuff, Lang’s daughter Cassie is taking up on her father’s way by getting into trouble and working with Hope and the grandpa Michael Douglas on technology to map out the Quantum Realm. Once Pfeiffer hears about this, before she’s able to explain why their new technology is so dangerous, it appears the device they created malfunctions, and the entire family gets sucked into the Quantum Realm. Scott and Cassie get separated from the other three, and this serves as our initial driving point of our characters wanting to find each other to find a way out of this place. But not everything is at it seems dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn.

          I think part of my fatigue of the recent MCU is too much CGI in general. And this film has our characters almost exclusively interacting with green screen backgrounds. The visuals look fine overall, but there’s one generic soft glow that acts as the light source, so there’s little exciting cinematography to find, no dynamic lighting that happens. And yes, there is an overall varied color palette for this crazy realm, but it doesn’t fool your brain at any point into thinking you’re looking at anything real. And what doesn’t help is super derived character and costume designs. Star Wars Episode 2 is what came to mind first, but it also seemed like we were copying the likes of like John Carter and maybe even more recently Dune. This extends into the score and sound design. A lot of characters shoot some form of beams or lasers or quantum particles, I don’t know, at each other and it literally felt like everyone was instructed to shoot their pew pews at each other and call it a day. I’ll talk further about the action later, but it’s all forgettable.

           We meet a lot of new characters in this realm. We meet a rebellious group I believe called the Freedom Fighters, led by the very one-dimensional Jentorra. But two of the side characters from here include a hilarious red oozing blob that gave off B.O.B. vibes from Monsters Vs. Aliens and the mind-reading, deadpan Quaz. It’s Scott and Cassie that find this group and accidentally get them exposed to Kang’s troops. On the other side, in a sequence that held very little weight to the overall story arc, Pfeiffer interacts with Bill Murray’s Krylar, and we learn more about Pfeiffer’s backstory. As Pfeiffer is always about to explain exactly what happened and why it’s imperative they get out as soon as they can, they always get interrupted by something. Later on when they finally get to the bottom of what happened during the 30 years Pfeiffer was initially trapped, the characters of course ask her why she never mentioned Kang to them. And she says, “I didn’t tell you because I was trying to protect you. I’m sorry.” I swear the next movie to use this stupid trope is getting an automatic 1/10 from me because it’s the lamest logic to create artificial tension and mystery in a story.

          I think one symptom of the constant green screens is a lack of sophisticated action choreography. The action scenes aren’t chopped to death like other movies, but there just isn’t anything particularly interesting that happens. We also have no idea who can do what, or how much danger they are ever in at one moment. Anytime we have action it feels more like a beat that we have to get through to move on. It’s to create a sense of pace for our characters to get from point A to B. And this is my biggest suggestion. The film is just over 2 hours, and I’d like them to make it 10 minutes longer (and I still think you could cut out most of the Murray scene). I want a few seconds where they setup giant weapons or like a big boom or something. Let me feel the sense that when a character shoots their pew pew, it’s going to be a big pew pew. Even take Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans. What those films did with overwhelming success was having the audience understand the insane scale of the Titans in those films. The film would pad the length just a few extra seconds just to show a Kraken emerge out of a giant lake, letting the water fall seemingly endlessly back down to the ground. There’s no comparison here. I want to understand the true might of Kang, and you could’ve had him like charge up before unleashing his blue beams and killing some folks—something along those lines. He may get made fun of for it, but Zack Snyder knows how to emphasize action primarily by slowing down footage. You could even take Hong Kong martial arts films as an example of when they zoom up close on a character when a punch or kick lands on its target.

          There’s a moment that Scott shares with his daughter later in the film that is sweet enough for father-daughter bonding, but there’s so little done to set it up. It’s like the film wanted to aim for some theme and threw a bunch of stuff right near the end. Literally, Cassie tells another character, “Just don’t be a dick.” So there’s your big movie theme, folks. Also, the villain MODOK makes an appearance, and my understanding is that the giant face thing is like how it appears in the comics, and this is where they really should’ve taken creative liberty in translating something into a modern film. Because MODOK looks absolutely wonky. And Paul Rudd and others do make jokes about his appearance, but just because you can be self-referential doesn’t disregard the fact that it should’ve been different in the first place. Anyways, back to setup and Paul Rudd, you remember how he worked at Baskin Robbins for the first film and it was hilarious? Hope you’re ready for three more jokes about that scattered throughout this film. Is it funny? Sure. Is it also lazy? Also yes.

          Paul Rudd and some of the Freedom Fighters help make sure Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania is one of the funnier MCU films and embraces the silliness of previous Ant-Man movies. Kang provides a great foil for both this film as well as promised appearances later on. A predictable story, boring action, and derivative costumes and visuals prevents this from bringing us out of a slight Marvel slump of films that make you go, “Yeah, I mean I liked it, but it wasn’t great or anything.” Oh, and since Valentine’s Day wasn’t too long ago, make sure you find yourself someone that talks to you the way Michael Douglas talks about his ants.

Heat

 

Gillipedia Official Rating: I want someone to take Al Pacino saying, “Bam!” and cut it into a cooking video like Emeril Lagasse seasoning food.

Score: 9/10

          I feel late to this party, but boy am I just happy to show up. I almost gave this film an 8 because there’s a couple elements that don’t come together, but the level of filmmaking and acting displayed here excels this film past so many others that it absolutely deserves the above 9. Writer/director Michael Mann doesn’t come out with too much, but he’s known for hard-hitting action dramas dealing with some form of criminals (first example that comes to mind is Tom Cruise’s villainous turn in Collateral). And Heat was heavily marketed as a Pacino/De Niro showdown, and it lives up to that name.

          We’re introduced to our main players from the start and their living situations in just a couple minutes of the 3-hour runtime before quickly moving on to the first heist that De Niro and his crew pull off. It’s hard to describe exactly how Mann pulls it off, but the combination of these professional criminals working their craft and it feeling authentic, to the combination of well-used wide shots to show us the surroundings and the close-ups of our main characters throws us into this world, grips us, and refuses to let go. And I’ll go ahead and mention this now: if you’re wondering about how the tone of the film feels, it didn’t take long for me to feel like I was watching the inspiration for Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight—in particular, the opening bank robbery scene. And I didn’t know it at the time, but I will pat myself on the back because after a bit of research, Nolan does describe this as one of his favorite films and indeed an inspiration to his film.

          I feel like the difference between films I gave high praise to versus those I was more critical of in the past year was all about the emotional connection to the characters. And luckily, this long film isn’t just filled with fluff. The action is tense, but it’s the hardships of life surrounding our characters that draws us in. De Niro has been successful in what he does his entire life in part to his standoffish style and willingness to do what is necessary for the job at hand; but when he meets a young, attractive woman that he takes a liking to, how can he keep the two worlds separate? The demolitions and basically right-hand man to De Niro is Val Kilmer, and his relationship with his wife and child is currently heated, but there is still love there. On the flip side, Al Pacino is a veteran detective that has trouble sharing the burdens of his work with his wife, and that has put a strain on their relationship. It’s within these relationships where the film is both crafted well while also missing just a mark or two.

          As the film moves along, De Niro talks with Jon Voight about another score—of course, it’s one of those career-enders, the big bucks, the big kahuna, enough dough to retire, the end all be all, the big cheese, the butter poached lobster, the final axe to grind, the—

          The first heist was successful, but just a couple small moments start to add up as Pacino and his detectives start to put the pieces together on who’s behind the crimes. The LAPD is putting more heat on De Niro, but there’s almost this sense of pride of “You think you can catch me? You think you’re better at what you do than what I do? Then c’mon, give me your best shot.” De Niro has gone his career knowing when to step away when the heat is too much, but as the draws of perhaps a simpler life with his newfound love toil in his mind, he has to make decision on if this final job is worth all the heat, but also if riding off into the sunset into retirement is truly the end goal. Because this is the only life that he knows and what he’s good at. And again, it’s going to take Pacino’s full efforts to try to stop De Niro, but is the job worth the turmoil it’s causing his marriage?

          The beauty of the above questions is yes, there’s plenty of scenes of dialogue, but the true reason this movie earns its ratings is what is said between the lines. I’m thinking this movie was overlooked at the award shows at the time due to being an action film, but I’m telling you the acting here is powerful. Pacino is over-the-top in the best ways that he pulls off, but the way De Niro exhibits his control and power over people with simply a look is so good. It takes gravitas for the commanding presence he has, and it’s a powerhouse to behold. There’s a famous scene in a café where Pacino and De Niro see each other face-to-face for the first time and essentially tell each other that they will both stop at nothing to get the job done. And with it being such a long movie, I was eating dinner at the time, and you better believe even though I was mid-bite, my eyes stayed glued to the screen for the entirety of that scene. Scarlet Johansson could've been in the same room trying to entice me with free tubs of Chick-fil-A sauce, and it wouldn't have mattered; there is nothing that could've prevented me from being spellbound by the acting on display. The way they emote so much without having to say a word is incredible, but it also helps that the dialogue is classic. My favorite line had to be when De Niro is on the phone with William Fichtner who was even in that opening bank robbery of The Dark Knight and made the mistake of double crossing De Niro, where De Niro then delivers the lines, “What am I doing? I’m talking to an empty telephone… Cause there’s a dead man on the other end of this f*ckin line.”

          And it’s not just our three main guys in this film—everybody is in this movie. A tween Natalie Portman, Ted Levine basically playing the character he would recurringly play on Monk, Tom Sizemore, Wes Studi, Danny Trejo, Dennis Haysbert (the All State guy), and Hank Azaria. It’s an all star cast that I thoroughly enjoy, but it leads into my criticism that there’s just one too many subplots in the film. De Niro, Pacino, and Kilmer all deal with their own troubles outside of their work, and while most of it works thematically, there’s even a late subplot involving Portman (who plays Pacino’s step-daughter) that feels thrown in more than anything. Also, I’m sorry, but De Niro’s love interest is just too young for him and I never fully got behind the romance there. I’ll defend the film for most of its runtime, but it could be tightened up just a bit—even 15 minutes cut out would be enough.

          Once we get to the climactic bank robbery and the subsequent and inevitable Pacino/De Niro showdown, I am fully invested. There’s not much dialogue, but the action and the directing speak for themselves. The score of the film perfectly fits every scene, and this film should ultimately be a blueprint for many other films if they too would like to succeed just like The Dark Knight. This is a classic film for a reason, and if you’re looking for a heavy drama with gritty action mixed in, Heat gets my high recommendation.

5 Favorite Films of 2022

 

    There were some clunkers, very mid Marvel movies, but a few standout blockbusters this year. I haven’t seen too many of the Oscar hopefuls (just watched and wasn’t impressed by The Banshees of Inisherin), so keep in mind that this list can only contain the movies I actually watched. With the films that I already wrote a review for, if you'd like to read my full thoughts, I'll be including all of those links! I’m very thankful for this year with the opportunity to watch all these movies as well as life outside of films, but without further ado, let’s recap what I watched.

 

#5 The Batman

The Batman Review

          Sure, there’s some bias here being a huge Batman fan to start off with. It will be interesting to see if Matt Reeves and Robert Pattinson are in James Gunn’s mind for the new DCEU; regardless, the only superhero film on this list deserves its spot. The world building is great and fits in perfectly with the dark tone, Paul Dano and Colin Farrell are standout villains as The Riddler and Penguin respectively, and figuring out the riddles with the overarching corrupt political Gotham at the heart of the film is engaging. And the upside down shot of Batman approaching in the rain with the fire behind him is an all-time shot. Gritty, executed on every level, and everything I could want in a Batman film.

 

#4 Nope

Nope Review

          Jordan Peele has not missed yet in my books. Nope is his biggest departure from the horror genre as a whole, but it still keeps enough of those ingredients to satiate that quench. But what you get as a whole is a film shot like no other—the villainous “monster” lurking in plain view with well-lit nighttime shots. “Well-lit nighttime shots” is not a sexy sounding sentence, but after so many films have wanted that dark aesthetic but refuse to show anything going on, this feels like such a blessing, and Peele knows exactly what to do with it.

          I’d also like to take this time to say that Daniel Kaluuya deserves an Oscar nom for Best Actor for this film. I’m doubling down in my original review that it’s not going to get the awards buzz because it’s not flashy, but he does such an incredible job of playing an introverted ranch hand; one of the most difficult things to do is act subtly, and Kaluuya does it brilliantly. If you’re looking for something more on the sci-fi lines with some horror elements, Nope is solid through and through.

 

#3 Barbarian

Barbarian Review

          In what is typically not my favorite genre overall, this is the 2^nd horror movie to make my list this year, and it’s the reason I couldn’t call Nope the best horror movie of the year. Barbarian was more under the radar, but it’s definitely one of those films that’s better the less you know going in. Star Georgina Campbell has a mix up with her Airbnb, and instead of hopelessly looking for a hotel that’s booked up, she reluctantly agrees to share the space and night with Bill Skargard—who famously played the titular clown in It. It’s a creepy and realistic nightmare scenario, and the plot only thickens from there. This was some of the most fun I had at a theater, and that’s why Barbarian deserves this spot on the list.

 

#2 Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On Review

          Probably the biggest surprise for this list, I think this family-friendly movie is incredible and should easily take Best Animated Film. I’m still not sure how exactly, but there’s like a combination of stop-motion, regular animation, and live-action shooting an adorable 1-inch shell that lives in a comfy 2-story house. And it being an A24 studio film, you know the cinematography is going to be top-notch. Combine family-friendly sensibilities with genuinely well-made material, and then top it off with the most wholesome content I’ve seen in years, and that’s why this movie not only makes the list but also is so far up. If you are in need of a smile, watch this movie.

 

Un-honorable Mentions

         

Amsterdam

Amsterdam Review

          Sometimes I go into a movie with lower expectations, but I’m not shaking in the knees to go dole out money and time for a bad film. And this first film has got to be the biggest disappointment of the year because I was a huge fan of almost everyone involved with this movie. There’s too many subplots, the performances are all over the place, and at the center of it all, this film wants to be a comedy and simply isn’t funny. The built-in pauses for audiences to laugh gets excruciating, and the running gags are worn out by the 7^th punchline you’ve heard repeatedly in the 2-hour movie. I really wish Amsterdam was better, I truly do.

 

Jurassic World: Dominion

Jurassic World: Dominion Review

          Now this was not a film I had exceedingly high hopes for. I thought its predecessor was better than it’s given credit for, but there’s no defending Dominion. I’m tired of bringing back old cast members, the plot is essentially the exact same as every Jurassic movie, and outside of a handful of moments, the CGI action doesn’t cut it. Chris Pratt and all the producers were really just cashing checks with this one.

 

The 355

The 355 Review

          Say what you will about the last two movies above; there might even be some people that could make a few arguments in their defense. But there is absolutely nothing you can do for The 355. This takes the cake as worst film of the year by a mile. I like the cast overall (Penelope Cruz being the only one here actually acting), but there is zero plot and every frustrating element from a generic action film that has come out in the past decade. That style of handheld quick edits that The Bourne Ultimatum pulled off that really no other film has successfully replicated? Yup, that’s exactly what you get here. Since my original review was before I was handing out scores, all you need to know is this film is a 2/10.

 

Honorable Mentions

 

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Everything Everywhere All at Once Review

          Before we get to the film of the year, let’s add a bit more positivity with some well-deserved shout-outs. And narrowing these honorable mentions to just three was a struggle itself. But first on the honorable mentions is the most unique film of the year. Combining the multiverse now made popular from Marvel, some of the best action choreography, some of the most innovative jokes, and a thoughtful familial story at its center, you get this movie. And there’s so much to enjoy and I understand that some people might even be bewildered that this doesn’t claim a spot in my top 5. I think some of its quirks get just a little too quirky for my taste and play out a little too long. I also thoroughly enjoyed the story, but it may not have fully impacted me the same it did for others. And that’s okay! Joke as I may that my reviews are definitive, this is also just my own opinion. This is a really good movie, just not something I need to revisit soon.

 

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent Review

          If the title is unfamiliar, just know that this is the most Nic Cage movie out there. And it’s a blast. Saw this at a film festival a month before its theatrical release, and the vibe in the theater was just great. Possibly the most I belly-laughed in a film this year, this super meta film is better than a hot cocoa on a chilly winter night.

 

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

          It’s not quite as good as the original, but I love Rian Johnson, I love the whodunnit genre, and I think he successfully pulled off this sequel. It’s another highlight cast with colorful characters (again, they’re not quite as much fun as before), and yet again, the way you think the mystery will be played out is against expectations. One huge gripe I have with mysteries whether in film or TV, is when they want the audience to guess but don’t provide enough suspects or evidence throughout for you to try thinking it through. And I did come to the conclusion before the end. That doesn’t mean the mystery was too simple; it felt earned, and I felt proud for figuring it out using the context clues provided. All in all it’s still plenty of fun.

 

And the film of the year…

 

Top Gun: Maverick

Top Gun: Maverick Review

          There was only one movie I was compelled to go back and see twice, and what else would you expect from me than for it to be a Tom Cruise movie. You can read my full review of the film, but what this film does correctly is make you feel attached to the characters, so the stakes in the action scenes feel genuinely dangerous. And speaking of genuinely dangerous, there’s minimal CGI, and yes, they are actually flying planes. The way this film is shot is phenomenal and ground-breaking (because it’s in the air ha), and that scene where Cruise runs the course to prove the mission is impossible possible had me on the edge of my seat, palms sweaty, and heart pounding. Top Gun: Maverick is why I enjoy going to the cinema and why I will continue to go in the new year. 

    I’m always open to suggestions on what to watch, and I hope you both enjoy reading my content and find it useful in determining if you should watch a certain film as well. For those that have reached out saying they’ve enjoyed these reviews, I have truly appreciated it, and it helped make 2022 a highlight year. Thanks everyone.