Gillipedia Official Rating: Alien and Life meets the Mariana Trench, and none of it is very good
We go back to the blissfully ignorant
period that was January 2020 for this film. The biggest meme about the Rona was
having Corona cans wearing a mask and having a Bud Light socially distance
itself in the fridge. Anyways, enough down memory lane. Underwater came out in January, and apparently nobody decided to go
see it. All in all, probably a rare smart call from the American public. This
movie isn’t great. Grab your gear because it’s time to make a bunch of bad
water puns and deep dive into this review.
The opening credits are newspaper
clippings and whatnot detailing this drilling rig at the deepest part of the
ocean, pretty basic backstory stuff like that—all so they don’t have to bother
explaining anything through the characters. The first shot is a somewhat
impressive look at the pipe that travels seemingly endlessly into the pitch-black
depths below before reaching the bottom where the crew is situated. And if you
recall the trailer at all, this is where we find main star Kristen Stewart
going for the shaved head and glasses look to dramatically brush her teeth. She
spews off some dumb internal monologue about a cynical world, and the next
thing we know, the rig starts blowing up.
As water seeps in and things crash
down, Stewart is able to find some crew and shut themselves off from the
compromised areas. It should be worth noting here that Stewart loses her
glasses in the opening sequence, and I thought they might make some conflict
happen about how she can barely see. But it’s never addressed again, so no need
to worry there.
We soon run into shirtless TJ Miller,
and he mentions some throwaway line about the company drilling too deep and
probably hitting a tectonic plate. He also provides some comedic relief, like
his obsession with his stuffed bunny, but that’s the extent of his character.
None of the characters here are
remotely interesting and venture anywhere beyond their prototypical roles. We
have a captain that doesn’t like to talk about his past but leads the way with
an iron heart, a girl that is completely overwhelmed by the situation and will
gladly let everyone else do the heavy lifting before finally deciding to
contribute right near the end of the film when most characters are already
dead, and she also has a love interest or something that tags along.
These characters fit into their roles
immediately, occasionally say a line or two to each other, and then start
moving to the next location. Character development isn’t what the movie relies
on. Oh, and Kristen Stewart comes across as a strange choice for the lead. She
does a decent job of portraying some inner anxiety while trudging forward, but
nothing about her character really ever screams leading protagonist—except that
she has a kind heart. There’s also probably five moments throughout the film
where she very clearly should’ve died, but she had to live because she’s the
protagonist.
As far as story beats go, I guess some
areas weren’t accessible, making the only possible route to survival a base a
mile across the ocean floor. I’m not positive because the dialogue is inaudible
about 20% of the time. I believe for the most part, the captain says oh we
can’t go here because bad, so we must go here even though dangerous. And
everyone is pretty much like, you’re the cap, capt’n, let’s go. As lazy as the
writing is for the characters, it’s even worse about providing tangible
motivation for the characters to move from one location to another. For
instance, about 40 minutes in it becomes clear that there’s some crazy, alien
sea creature following them, but none of them ever really question going down a
tunnel that has become half-flooded with water.
And speaking of the creatures in this
film, they’re weird. It’s a strange merman hybrid, and it pales significantly
to Alien and to the highly underrated
Alien-inspired film Life. And as a minor spoiler, the movie
moves to a ridiculous climax where the characters run into the boss battle
basically—an enormous sea creature that comes out of nowhere.
Part of why I didn’t care for the
creatures is how the action scenes are shot. I want to give high praise for all
the times the characters are in their bulky suits (that of course are too slim
for them to wear pants in, so they have to strip to their undies) and traverse
in the water. Seeing all the particles floating through the beams of their
flashlights looks really good. It also truly feels like they don’t have any
vision except for the lights in front of them, but this also becomes a bit of a
detriment. The filmmakers were determined to hardly let the audience ever view
the creatures, so all the action scenes quickly jump around in the dark waters,
and it’s difficult to make out any of what happens. There’s a scene in the
latter half where for a solid 2 minutes during the action, I genuinely did not
know what had happened.
I have so many questions, but I don’t
think the filmmakers thought long enough to cover any plot discrepancies. The
motivations of the characters and creatures didn’t really connect with me.
Like, Stewart tries having a bit of a heart-to-heart with scared chick later in
the film; and it sounds like the making of a tender moment, but they were also
still trudging along the bottom of the sea floor where all the creatures were
still lurking. Of course, they weren’t in any real danger because there wasn’t
dramatic music playing, but that’s not something the characters would be aware
of. I’m also still not convinced that there wasn’t an easier way back to the
surface, and I thought at the beginning it said there was a crew of like 300.
They threw a couple numbers out there at the beginning, but I don’t know what happened
to all the other employees. Which leads to one of the bigger—and more
deliberate—question marks: the company funding this expedition. I believe the
gist of it is that this corporation = bad guys. Some of the clippings suggest
that they possibly knew about the creatures and didn’t do anything about it,
but I don’t know. Typically, the motivation comes down to greed, but it’s hard
to piece that together from the clues they give. The point here is that I don’t
understand what the safety protocols would’ve been for such a large venture to
just suddenly become 70% compromised, killing many employees.
Scared chick also has one of the
dumbest lines I’ve heard in recent memory around the middle of the film.
Something about how we made Mother Nature mad, and now she’s fighting back.
There’s just too many bad moments to justify whatever entertainment value this
creature flick garners from its fine claustrophobic premise. If you’re looking
for something that does Alien
justice, I can’t recommend Life
enough. The creature is menacing, the cast is top-notch, and it has great
visuals and thrills.
In
Brief:
- I think I have an idea on what to do for the next review. Stay tuned.
- Possibly one of the most important notes ever in the in brief section, I was scouring the internet and came across some music that almost everyone has heard before but undoubtedly have no idea what it’s from. Look up “The Mighty Rio Grande” by This Will Destroy You.
