Spider-Man: No Way Home: A Spoiler-Free Review (and then clearly marked spoilers afterward)

 

Gillipedia Official Rating: Fan service, but like, actually good

          Let’s lay the ground rules. Everyone already knows that Alfred Molina, Willem Dafoe, and Jamie Foxx are reprising their respective roles as Doc Ock, Green Goblin, and Electro across the previous 2 franchises. This of course marks the seemingly unlikely pairing between Marvel and Sony, and it also raised countless questions as to who else could possibly show up. I won’t even hint at anything in this first portion of the review of what else to possibly expect, so read on worry-free. But if you are worried about spoilers, you should also probably avoid lots of social media since memes and companies are always trying to be the first to grab attention with these sorts of things.

          I’d like to start this off just with some gratefulness. I have always been a huge Spider-Man fan, particularly from the 90s cartoon that to this day still has the best iteration of how Spider-Man behaves. We started this trilogy with Homecoming with Iron Man playing a large role in one of my favorite MCU films, and we followed it up with not quite as good but still fun Far From Home with an excellent performance from Jake Gylenhaal as Mysterio. We’re spoiled in how much Benedict Cumberbatch plays a role in this latest film as Dr. Strange, and that’s not at all the big news anybody is talking about. The crossovers are commonplace now and have shown how they usually work pretty well even when stuffing films full of characters like the Avengers films. I believe it’s been a well-crafted plan from MCU, and those executives deserve a bunch of credit because everything has fallen into place so well. When you have a large quantity of films dedicated to your heroes, that allows them to also set up the later films where they team up because now you don’t have to lay as much groundwork on who these characters are. I’m someone that enjoys Spider-Man 3 more than the average person, but I can still recognize how it was overly ambitious in needing to dedicate so much time to exposition for all its different villains. And No Way Home has even more villains plus Dr. Strange; however, everyone already knows these villains and the actors that played them, so you don’t have to go back through their origins.

          Let’s recall what we know story wise from the trailer. The end of Far From Home shook things up by revealing Peter Parker’s identity to the world. Now as he scrambles to adjust to a life of fame and how that affects himself and his loved ones, Parker turns to Dr. Strange to find a spell that will make the world forget who he is. In a kind of silly sequence, Strange takes little convincing to begin the spell, but Parker starts realizing that he still wants his loved ones to remember who he is and pesters Strange to tamper with the spell. Things go awry, and instead of the spell working, a dimensional shift of sorts occurs that starts bringing the villains from the multiverse into theirs.

          This of course is where the villains from the past franchises comes into play. I’m going to stop talking about the story from this point, but just know that things from here actually play well. This film could’ve easily failed, but the integration of the other franchises works thematically, fits the story, and is honestly loads of fun. This has always been one of the more light-hearted franchises with the 80s high school feel from the first two films and now here the main characters trying to get into college, but this film also works in some more serious stuff and allows a nice change-of-pace—especially since I have been feeling a lot of fatigue from the Marvel formula.

          Okay, time for the small gripes. The film has its quips at the beginning of the film, but they feel like the generic humor that Marvel has relied on too much, and it’s not particularly funny. Also, I have recently gone back in the last couple of months and have watched films from the 3 Mexican directors that have revolutionized cinema: Guillermo del Toro, Alejandro Innaritu, and Alfonso Cuaron. And after you watch someone like Emmanuel Lubezki with his cinematography and use of natural light and real settings, it’s hard not to notice the harsh artificial light incorporated into pretty simple scenes that still feel the need to use a green screen background. Also, one thing The Amazing Spider-Man films did so well was Spidey web-slinging around. Or even take web-slinging from the videogames, the newest PlayStation games in particular. Those feel so dynamic and fluid, and there sadly are definitely moments in this film that have that rubber feel—animations where you don’t feel the weight of something.

          I saw this film in IMAX, and the Dr. Strange sequences are enough alone for the price of admission. And despite feeling like Jacob Batalon gave zero effort in that new car commercial, his character Ned is fun again in this film. Tom Holland has always been a great Spider-Man, and he feels a bit too clueless about his surroundings at times, but he and Zendaya and Marisa Tomei are all great fun to watch. And to round out this part of the review, it’s fun to see Molina back in form, and it definitely feels like they basically asked Jamie Foxx what he would like to different this time around, and then did exactly that. And having not gone back to the previous franchises in awhile, I was pleasantly surprised by how powerful an actor Willem Dafoe still is; he is old and needed a bit of aid from CGI, but he is back in form as Green Goblin.

          If you’re a fan of the Marvel films, then this is a must-watch. It’s still too fresh on my mind to give a rating of where this stacks up in the MCU, but I really enjoyed watching the film and highly recommend it. Okay, from this point on, now we get into spoiler territory.

 

**Spoilers beyond this point**

 

          I’m going to assume people reading this portion have either already seen this film or have no desire to see the film and don’t mind me giving everything away. Because they start quick with putting Daredevil in the film. And honestly, as soon as I saw that, I basically knew for a fact that we were getting Tobey and Andrew.

          I think the premise of Parker’s mistake and now needing to round up all the villains works as a premise. But it works for one particular reason. And that is the fact that his mistake came out of a true case of selflessness. He didn’t want people to forget who he was because he was caving under the pressure of the fame Tony Stark relished in; no, his girlfriend and best friend couldn’t get into college as a direct result of their association to him. It’s this guilt that he feels that also drives the point home of listening to Aunt May about doing the right thing and actually trying to help the villains instead of letting them simply return to their doomed fates.

          And the triumphant return of the Emperor Palpatine lego works well too because of the comparisons you can make to Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. That film sucks. It’s fan service in the name of fan service, and none of it works. Whereas, if you described No Way Home to someone, you could mistake it for sounding like fanfiction. But as previously mentioned, it’s integrated in the best way. They gave Tobey and Andrew significant screentime. I think the start of the film suffers slightly from lackluster writing, and there’s only the brief Daredevil appearance to wet the whistles of the diehards until the real action begins. But when the Spider-Men do come in, I love it. They even do the meme of them pointing at each other and pay clever homage to their respective franchises.

          Tobey is in his 40s and has been doing way more producing than he has been acting. And the Spidey suit is a bit tight, but he plays the fatherly figure well. And I even loved that he gave one line of him and MJ making it work; we don’t need extensive detail, but it’s enough to even make up for cancelling Spider-Man 4. Now the real bright light here is with Andrew. The dude is almost 40 at this point, so first off credit to him for looking -ahem- amazing. But he pulls off the banter with the others well and even gets to play off the fact that his version as well as his films are the least well regarded. And the face he makes when he saves Zendaya at the end is enough to melt any heart, it’s an honestly touching moment.

          Other small gripes. The Lizard looks terrible. It doesn’t look realistic, but it also doesn’t look cartoony. It’s the kind of look that would’ve happened and then been made fun of in The Suicide Squad. And Rhys Ifans doesn't look great either. The final fight uses the 3 Spideys well despite no regard for destruction, but it’s also close to impossible to differentiate which one is doing what at points. Holland is also basically invincible. The amount of concrete slabs he's smacked through would make the NFL concussion protocol shutter. He literally dedicates a line to thinking aloud how he broke some ribs, and that's the last that is ever mentioned.

          But like I said, the film plays strengths really well. Electro is cooler and more imposing (I need to rewatch his film though because I think he gets a bad rap), Molina has a nice redemption arc, Green Goblin is still imposing in the same way as before, they make a joke about the terrible Rhino from the Amazing franchise (sorry Giamitti), and Sandman is rightfully motivated by just wanting to return to his daughter.

          This is a complete film that breaks Marvel molds enough with actions like killing Aunt May, and having the 2 older Spideys mentor Holland works because he is genuinely the youngest and hasn’t been exposed to the world as much as they have (despite his true remarks of fighting aliens in space). It also performs its role of setting up more of the MCU with some multiverse madness for Strange to handle; the trailer at the very end looked a lot like the What if…? episode, and I am curious as to what to expect. I’m also confused by the mid credits scene. It feels cheap to tease Tom Hardy entering the MCU from the Let There Be Carnage mid credits scene, only to suggest that he will continue his own universe while allowing it to set up Venom in the MCU.

          I think Marvel has been clever with what they have revealed, and without any knowledge of what happens in comics, it also feels like they’re making sure they don’t follow exacts from those so as to keep everyone on their toes. You can be upset with the likes of Scorcese saying these films aren’t real cinema, and I agree with him to the extent that I’m fatigued by their formula and with the CGI action. I even also enjoy DC films more than others, and think they’re back in a better direction with a darker alternative to what Marvel does. But I’ve also still grown up with these superheroes and thoroughly enjoy watching the films and seeing where they will end up next. They’re on an interesting trajectory to move forward from Thanos, and their miniseries on Disney+ have been mostly successful as well. I’m still a little shocked that they were able to pull this film off, and this has easily been one of the more enjoyable experiences at the theaters this year.

James McAvoy in My Son

Gillipedia Official Rating: Good, but in a Scottish accent

          Here’s a sentence most self-respecting people probably aren’t proclaiming: I watched a movie streaming exclusively on Peacock. To my credit, it’s the free version where they play 2 minutes of ads first and then you’re good to go, not paying for that premium version (although that is the way to watch the new Psych movie). Recommended to me by a friend, the film is one that I highly doubt many people have heard of. I’m talking about My Son starring James McAvoy and Claire Foy.

          On the surface this is a pretty simple film. Clocking in at just over 90 minutes, we aren’t given any background and are thrust straight into the thick of the premise. We’re in a beautiful, mountainous region of Scotland (where McAvoy is originally from, so it’s his real accent he’s using I presume), and McAvoy receives word from his ex-wife Foy that their young son has gone missing. The rest of the film follows McAvoy around as he tries to uncover the mystery of what has happened and of course to find his boy before it’s too late.

          As you may imagine with the short runtime, there aren’t going to be too many clues and red herrings here; it’s a mostly straightforward mystery. The real kicker to the film is how the film itself was shot. The idea here is that McAvoy was never given the script to the film, only a glancing overview of the plot. What that means is that as we the audience watch the movie, we uncover the mystery at the same time as McAvoy does, so his reactions to everything are completely genuine. This is the kind of idea that I love and absolutely drew me into wanting to watch how this all played out. The resulting thriller honestly comes slightly mixed.

          I have to point out McAvoy’s performance. I feel like everyone realized how talented he is after he did Split, but he is by and large the best part of this film. Foy plays her part well, but so much of the focus is on McAvoy, and he nails it. There is one moment that did feel a bit improvised in a mistaken way, but tiny gripe. There’s a moment about 30 minutes in that calls back to Tom Hanks at the end of Captain Phillips—those moments of acting that just stick with you in how powerful they were. McAvoy achieved that. With how little attention and the mixed reviews the film received, it appears highly unlikely, but I’d like to put my two cents in and say that McAvoy needs to get a Best Actor nod for this film.

          The other side of this is the limitations. As I mentioned earlier, the mystery isn’t very complex. And it can’t be either. When your lead actor doesn’t have a script, you’re not going to throw a bunch of subplots that have no relevance into the mix. So when you get to the climax and realize that the scene you’re watching is the conclusion of the film, it leaves you feeling a bit like, “Oh, that’s it?” Because they figure something out, pretty easily get the clue, and the clue leads them directly to where they need to go.

          As a showcasing of McAvoy’s talents, the film strikes gold. As a mystery thriller, it’s nothing out of the ordinary. And as a tourism attraction piece to Scotland, it’s absolutely brilliant—minus the whole boy going missing part of the story of course. But really, there are some great landscape shots here; however, it is also worth noting that the score doesn’t always match up. Like this is a serious film with a dark premise, and the score is pretty light-hearted. On one hand you can think of it as a way to alleviate some tension? Maybe? Like this isn’t the super dark film the way the brilliant Prisoners is, but the music isn’t very fitting overall.

          Ultimately, you can create an account for Peacock for free, and that in itself absolutely makes this film worth recommending. It provides you with a unique setting, some terrific acting, and an enjoyable watch for a film that most people have never even heard of. And hey, you don’t have to use that pink fleshy thing inside your head very much to figure this movie out, but that might be what you’re in the mood for anyways. Oh, Peacock is also where The Office is now streaming if that also helps.

 

In Brief:

• I recently flew out to Denver for a friend’s wedding, and I was able to catch a couple films during the long flights. No Man of God takes place primarily in one room as Elijah Wood plays a rookie FBI agent that develops a strange relationship with serial killer Theodore Bundy. Interesting film, good acting, nothing ground-breaking. Also watched Stillwater with Matt Damon and Abigail Breslin. I only knew a tiny bit about the film but was curious to see Damon’s performance. What I didn’t realize is that despite the title of the film, the vast majority of this film takes place in France. The main focus sways from figuring out how to free his innocent daughter from jail to a relationship he develops with a French theater woman and her young daughter, and that part of the story has a whole lot of heart. And then it comes crashing down with a sobering ending that may seem to fit real life more than Hollywood, but heck n holler, rooty tooty, butter my biscuit cuz I ain’t satisfied by the way this roughneck film ends. It takes away from so much of the film and won’t satisfy you.
• I watched Red Notice on Netflix with The Rock, Ryan Reynolds, and Gal Gadot. Despite high production values, I see why this film didn’t go for theaters. It double-crosses itself too many times, and only really redeems itself somewhat with Reynold’s mostly funny banter. Not a great film.
• What was much better was Daniel Craig’s conclusion as James Bond in No Time to Die. I enjoyed that the concept of time was heavily featured—hence the title. But not in a trippy Christopher Nolan way; no, more like an aging character finally ready to move on from his 007 life kind of way. There’s some touching moments, and Ana de Armas is criminally underused. The action is great again with solid directing and editing that doesn’t cut away from the action every frame. Not as good as Skyfall, but a big improvement over Spectre.

Dune by Denis and Dune by David

By Denis

Gillipedia Official Rating: 6.5/10. But in the year 10191 with inflation it’s more like 8/10.

          There are some films you just know no matter what is said about it, you are going to watch. Dune fits that bill for me. A star-studded cast for a film based on the Frank Herbert book that I listened to (very confusing to listen to the audiobook), the main draw for me was in director Denis Villeneuve. Mostly known for critical and public success from Arrival, he’s also the director of some of my favorite films in Prisoners, Sicario, and Blade Runner 2049. And if Tenet was Christopher Nolan’s most Nolanesque film to mostly successful results, the same is true of Dune. I do have a fair share of critiques and its slower pace might turn off some moviegoers looking for huge blockbuster thrills from this visual feast, but it is ultimately a very good film.

          The first thing to note is one of the very first things you’re told about this film. This is in fact Dune Part One. The lack of marketing advertising this is frustrating, and that frustration is compounded by the fact that this is clearly a story that doesn’t get finished in its entirety and aptly needs the Part One in the title. It also features a 2hr 35min runtime. For part one. Now as someone who only understood very little of the audiobook and also subsequently watched (and will review) the David Lynch adaptation and thus knows the story, honestly… part one is pretty necessary. Like I truly believe you could make a 3-hour competent version that completes the story. But this isn’t a money-grabbing part one. This isn’t a 300-page book inexplicably split into a trilogy of 2 ½ hour films (looking at you The Hobbit). This is a complicated interplanetary story with confusing names and places and requires time to get through. Sometimes Dune takes too much time, but I have made peace that a true adaptation of Dune needs multiple parts. You can make the argument of a mini-series in an era trending toward just that; however, Denis dutifully utilizes the full visual and audio experience of a movie theater. I could’ve watched this movie for free on HBO Max, but I watched it in a theater and have approximately 0 regret over that decision.

          For the plebs who don’t know what Dune is, it’s a sci-fi story that takes place somewhere beyond the year 10,000. Our protagonist Paul played by Timothee Chalamet belongs to House Atreides from the planet Caladan (no way in heck did I remember these names, you bet I had to look all these up again). He dreams about Zendaya, and is sent to the desert planet Arrakis, better known as Dune. His family is sent on a mission by the emperor to assist in the production of spice mined from Dune’s deserts and is the only place in the universe with the dusty goodness. This spice both acts as a hallucinogen as well as the power behind interplanetary travel—thus making it the most desirable resource. Paul’s father is the Duke and played by Poe from Star Wars Oscar Isaac. He has an impressive filmography, but let’s keep things simple with actor’s most known works. Paul’s mom is Lady Jessica, played by Mission: Impossible filmrunner Rebecca Ferguson. There’s like a bald Reverend Mother that schooled Jessica in the Bene Gesserit, and they taught her how to use “The voice.” Jessica is able to vary her tone to command anyone to do her bidding, and she is in the process of teaching this power to Paul. There’s also the albino Harkonnens who play our baddies. They don’t have great motivations besides being power-hungry, and House Atreides stands in their way of these goals. To be fair Atreides also wants more power but in a more heroic way. Knowing that they’re at a disadvantage, they send a skilled pilot Duncan Idaho played by Aquaman Jason Momoa to learn about the Fremen, the desert people of Arrakis. Duncan comes back all hopeful that the Fremen are key to Dune and defeating the Harkonnen, but they aren’t sure on how quite yet. And from there conflicts happen and you get the idea.

          Did all that make sense? Need a recap? I just wrote it, and I’m still confused on the names. Let’s let your minds rest a bit and talk about the acting. Overall, on every front, Dune is a well-executed movie, but it comes across just a tad bit pretentious. And blame should be spread throughout. Characters take long pauses between lines, shots linger just a little long either on characters’ expressions or on wide shots, and shots I could’ve sworn were slowed down for dramatic effect for the trailers appear as is in the final film. Timothee Chalamet is the epitome of this. He’s a really great, rising star. But I mean, just take a look at him and you feel like he’s snubbing you just a bit. Ferguson is really talented, and she has the second-biggest role. I’m very pleased with how much material she’s given, and she is a dynamic character. But there’s a little pretention from her as well. If you watched the trailer, you saw half of Zendaya’s screentime. Also, the spice has turned the Fremen’s eyes blue. But not like they’re wearing blue contacts; no, the eyes are full-on blue and I think it was CGI and didn’t feel quite natural enough for me. But yeah, Zendaya had nothing to do here. Momoa is good, but much of the film is spent with him clean-shaven, and I am not a fan of that at all. Stellan Skarsgard (from Thor and Avengers) is unrecognizable as our main baddie the Baron Harkonnen. He is gross and repelling and his character is great. He has a similar vibe to that of Snoke from Star Wars, but where Snoke felt like an empty, CGI vessel, the Baron feels real and menacing and is not anything you’ve seen before.

-deep breath- Now we get to the more bit roles.

          Josh Brolin plays Gurney and helps train Paul to fight. They have these shields that provide a forcefield around the person. I think this is some great CGI use. It’s simple because it’s really more of an aura around the characters, but the design is so effective. First, it’s not distracting and allows the choreography of the fights to come through. Second, the color system is an easy concept for the audience to grasp. If you flail your weapon and hit the shield of the person without breaking it, you see the blue aura glow. If you break through the barrier, the shield turns red. With many complicated sci-fi concepts, the simple execution here really helps what action we get shine.

          Dave Bautista plays one of the Harkonnens, and it’s his worst performance. He overacts and sounds too close to his Drax character which takes away from the shock he’s supposed to instill when his character yells. It’s also personally disappointing since he plays a subtle, excellent bit role at the beginning of Blade Runner 2049 with the same director Denis. You probably don’t know the name David Dastmalchian, but you can’t forget his face if you’ve seen him in anything. I know him from his tiny villainous role in The Dark Knight, but he has collaborated with Denis before and now is best known for his recent work as Polka Dot Man in The Suicide Squad. I don’t have much to say on his small role here, I’m mostly just trying to show off my Gillipedia knowledge. He doesn’t show up until late, but Javier Bardem is also here, and I look forward to his character for the sequel.

          My goodness I feel like this review is ballooning in length and there’s still much to get through… Am I purposefully drawing parallels to the film? Am I taking up more space intentionally or has my freeform thinking expressed itself onto the page? Am I simply reaching a mandatory word count for my producers?

          So the film is long, story can be confusing, and it’s a little pretentious on all fronts. Not convinced to see it yet? I still maintain that Blade Runner 2049 is the best use of visual effects and futuristic technology of any film, but Dune follows in its footsteps. Having seen all Marvel films and becoming desensitized to the general overuse of green screen and CGI, Dune feels so refreshing. There are plenty of visuals, but they’re integrated so well. You never at any point feel like you’re looking at a green screen, and I truly can’t tell sometimes when something is a practical effect or CGI. I also wonder if any miniatures were used because some Nolan techniques for the likes of The Dark Knight and Interstellar feel similar to Dune—and that’s not a complaint in the slightest. There’s organic camera movement, great lighting which is a game-changer in making practical and visual effects blend seamlessly, and an impressive scale. This is a huge story with these massive nations clashing. And you truly get a feel that there’s an interplanetary war, and it’s this scale that really adds to the cinematic experience. Also, the sand worms are awesome. Think about the first episode of season 2 in The Mandalorian. Also also, even the explosions feel more cinematic and upgraded somehow.

          You may have overlooked it, but I made sure to point out that I saw the film in theaters for both the visual and audio experience. You may have a large 8K UHD HDMI TV, but you don’t have the sound system of a theater. And it makes a difference. Sound design is impeccable and will most likely be up for an Oscar, and the amazing Hans Zimmer scores this film. The Fremen have a very Middle Eastern, Arabic feel, and I think Zimmer captures this really well in some of the score.

          Sometimes the film drags, and it’s hard to remain focused. The film doesn’t hand-hold you with exposition, but it’s also hard to follow along at all points. There isn’t a tremendous amount of action, but that’s not what the story or film is. Just realize that going in. It’s always hard to tell the performance of a film with streaming, but with a $40 million opening knowing that it’s also streaming on HBO Max, it does give me hope that this film is successful enough to receive funding for future projects. And it is a great film and worthy of sequels. There’s story arcs and developments, and despite an obviously incomplete story at large, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. I think we deserved a post-credit scene, but ah well. If you have the time to see this more philosophical film, treat yourself to a truly cinematic experience at the theater.

 

By David

Gillipedia Official Rating: Big Brother is not pleased

          David Lynch found success in Eraserhead and The Elephant Man. And if you’ve seen Twin Peaks or his 40-minute nightmare fuel Rabbits (available on YouTube), you understand that Lynch has a style. He’s experienced, and his refusal to follow trends or tell a logical story almost seems to fit in well with the lore of Dune. His 1984 version even has cult status among groups. Many will tell you that the film is a failure both critically and commercially due to the oft-blamed studio interference that obstructed his vision and demanded a shorter runtime. I’m here to tell you that this is just a bad film.

          Whereas Denis’s Dune feels like in lesser hands could’ve been a B-sci-fi film, David’s Dune is exactly that. The sand worms are also actually impressive, and they do what they can with the limitations of the technology, but there’s also enough wrong to wring out chuckles from me for the silliness or poor effects. Like the shields that I previously praised literally looks like a prototype for Roblox or Minecraft. Literal rectangles surround the characters and these blocky bubbles obscure any kind of action. Luckily, it’s not used heavily. Strangely, it’s not used heavily. As in it’s used while training Paul just like Denis’s version, but that’s the last use of it despite its obvious advantages in combat—the climax in particular.

          This film is over 2 hours, but it’s still shorter and goes through the complete story. I was expecting less time to be spent in the first half. But really, with all the exposition to get through, so much time is spent in the first half that once we reach the point where Denis’s ends, it feels like we switch over to the highlight reel. There’s obviously so much content that is cut, but some scene changes make zero sense, some scenes have little to no impact and are way too long, and this film somehow feels even longer despite the shorter length. Not to try to spoil the obvious, but Paul and Zendaya’s character fall in love. In this version they meet, something else unrelated happens, and then I swear the next scene they start making out. There was no motivation or development. And rather than being an outlier, this is more of a common theme with this film.

          The film starts out with a space lady explaining the story and setting and plot. Then we even get a visual of the places and the confusing names. It’s way more simple, but I actually kinda appreciated it, and the tone felt more aligned with what little I recall from the audiobook. Then we reach Caladan and see the troops of the emperor dressed in garbage bags. I thought I was being harsh when I had that thought while watching, but it turns out I wasn’t far off and wasn’t harsh enough. Apparently, they were body bags from an abandoned fire station. To make things way creepier and gross, these were, let’s say, already lightly used body bags. These costumes of course stand out, but some are actually pretty good and the production design also is reminiscent of even some old films like Cleopatra where so much budget was consumed by costume and set design. Jessica’s hair reminded me of a serpent. But in a good way, you know?

          The Harkonnens look like the incest version of the Weasleys in Harry Potter. The Baron is super gross, but it’s more of a just ew why do I have to see this kind of way and not as menacing. For the second half of the film, he’s really just a fat, ugly man in a flying onesie. Oh, and Sting is also here and wears a sexy thong at one point. The Harkonnens are terrible in general. They are the definition of a maniacal laugh. They are evil because they’re supposed to be, and their cruelty also elicits cackling from themselves and constant smirking. You can’t convince me that that was a result of studio interference. David, do better.

          There’s limited cuts and camera movements, and the limitation of green screen also stagnates many scenes. It also makes the film feel like a play at times. And the actors don’t help with this; they overact in every scene, and the result is super cheesy. Mix in laughable green screen, and you sometimes have an enjoyable experience while watching. But it’s not bad enough to be a so bad it’s good film. The concept of Dune is too good to allow it to be terrible, but the execution fails in many areas. The star Kyle MacLachlan is actually pretty good. He later works with Lynch on Twin Peaks, and some people may know him in his humorous role as The Captain in How I Met Your Mother. OH. There’s also frikin Patrick Stewart. Did not see that coming. A young Linda Hunt also has a small role—I know her from NCIS: Los Angeles. And to top things off, Toto did the score.

          Some of the expositional elements help with understanding everything, but that could also be a result of me watching this film the day after watching Denis’s. One of the most annoying things is whispered inner narration that all characters have. I guess that might be part of the studio interference of needing a more intelligible story, but it happens the whole movie and inexplicably at times. It’s interesting to see how lines of dialogue are carried over and a general structure of some scenes, but this is not a film worth watching. In fact it only made me appreciate Denis’s execution that much more after seeing how bad this film was. Honestly, this would be a pretty scathing review if I also didn’t laugh at the cheesy moments. To finish things off, the film couldn’t end without getting me to chuckle one last time. The end credits start with the cast, but it shows a slightly transparent version of each actor over crashing waves, and it feels just like an In Memoriam.

 

In Brief:

• You can watch Disney’s Cruella for free on Disney+. I’m glad I didn’t pay for it, but as a fan of The Devil Wears Prada, I enjoyed this film. It felt like the familial twist is really forced, but I give it props for the effort. Emma Stone and Thompson are a joy.
• Venom: Let There Be Carnage is entertaining. Director Andy Serkis describes it as a love story, and it really does feel like it. It’s nice to see the sequel be kinda irreverent, but it can be a strange transition with the unhinged Carnage played by Woody Harrelson. Not excellent, but it’s really entertaining and pretty funny on occasion.
• I do take a look at a Rotten Tomatoes score for a film, but you can’t always trust it. Just a friendly reminder.

Malignant and Eastwood's Cry Macho

 Malignant

Gillipedia Official Rating: It’s time to cut out the cancer!

          That is not something I came up with. It’s a line said about 4 times throughout the film, including the very first scene. Malignant was a film I knew next to nothing about. I had seen a 15-second spot of a lady running around a house with the camera from the perspective of a high ceiling, it advertised the film as the new vision from James Wan who truly is behind the most popular mainstream horror films of recent years, and I had seen the poster. And honestly, the marketing was pretty bad for the film, but I think it makes sense because describing this film is a weird thing to do.

          The film starts with a mental hospital at night along a cliffside. Then, without showing the culprit, most of the staff is murdered, and we get a quick glimpse of some… thing, and we get that line. The film then switches over to our main character Madison, played by Annabelle Wallis. I was not familiar with her, but she is the best actor out of the cast. She gets in an argument with her boyfriend, and that night a malevolent force terrorizes them. After this incident most people think that Madison is crazy, but as the movie goes on, she starts realizing that she is connected to this malignant creature and has to figure out why and how to stop it.

          Before going any further, I really have to address something. At the 15-minute mark, I was ready to stop watching. The film was so campy. And I wasn’t expecting that—I was settling in for The Conjuring or Insidious with some creepy thrills, but instead was being treated with overacting and bad dialogue. And it was a strange combination because director Wan still had some cool camera tricks he was showing off (like the shot from the trailer). But I kept with it, and as the real story started to unfold, my interest grew.

          I’m not going to say too much more to avoid surprises and spoilers, but I do want to mention that this film has one of the coolest effects of recent memory. You’ll see it a couple of times, but Madison starts to realize her connection to the supernatural killer thing because of what I'll call the morphing effect. She’ll be in a room but then is paralyzed by fear, and the camera moves around her 360 degrees as the room melts away and a new room appears in a morphing fashion. I have an idea of how they did it, but one reason I really enjoy the shot is the fact that I’m not 100% sure on how they pulled the shot off and that always intrigues me.

          Also, this film is bonkers. The villainous presence is a cool character with some basic motives, but there are some gnarly kills. As the film goes on, so does the entertainment value. You’re given some puzzle pieces to solve, but the film goes in an unexpected direction. The acting aside from our protagonist is still atrocious, but at least the film gets better.

          Once the final act arrives, expect a bunch of nutty R-rated gory fun. And, unlike many horror films, the ending is satisfying. I started off the film expecting to do a scathing review, but I ended up enjoying myself in one of the most unique films of the year. It doesn’t excuse the really rocky start, but it does make it stand out from a typical horror film with slightly supernatural elements. I enjoyed it, but it’s not a film for everybody.

 

Cry Macho

Gillipedia Official Rating: Clint Eastwood goes from The Man With No Name to The Man Who Can’t Remember His Name

          Yo, Eastwood is old. This man has no business doing anything besides rocking in a chair and napping to the golf channel. He was already super old for The Mule a couple years ago, but it fit his character. Here, I hate to say it, but he truly is too old for the role.

          Taking place in the late 70s, Eastwood plays Mike, a widower who spent his life dedicated to taking care of horses and other livestock. His egotistical boss lets him go after his string of shirking duties and being late. Add insult to injury, the boss comes by later because he needs to hire Mike to rescue his half-gringo, half-Mexican son from his ex-wife across the border. There’s no mention of Eastwood’s slow pacing, softer voice, and hunched back. They just play it off like this guy really has the capability of traveling across the border and kidnapping a tween boy back.

          The opening is exposition heavy, the boss is a really bad actor, but at least the story is at a relatively brisk pace. Eastwood makes it to Mexico and meets the crazy ex-wife that attempts to seduce him and admits that if he’s not cockfighting, she has no idea where her son is. First off, she lives in a huge house and Mike strolled right in. Then, in the next scene, Mike is (slowly) strolling along, and happens across a cockfight where the son is. Conveniences like this push the story along, but it ruins some realism in how this should really play out. Anyways, the son too proves to be a subpar actor, and it isn’t too long before Mike has convinced him to come along. But after taking him to be a bit of a punk, the son then has to convince Eastwood to take him along. But that only lasts a scene.

          The bulk of the film is basically Cars where their car breaks down, and they have to find shelter in a small town. Characters bond, Eastwood meets a Mexican widow that doesn’t speak English and is much too young for him, it’s all good.

          Eastwood both directs and stars as he has done in multiple projects before. I think he should’ve stuck to directing. We see a compassionate side to him we haven’t really seen in his films before, but he’s still not the right actor for the role; despite some good lines, his delivery is a little slow for maximum impact. Plus, I believe if he was able to focus on directing, he would’ve been able to catch some of the bad acting (even if Eastwood is infamous for using the first take he gets and moves on).

          Watching this film really only made me think about better Eastwood films, in particular Gran Torino and even a bit of Unforgiven. If you want a film that will affect you emotionally, you have to watch Gran Torino. Cry Macho is a sweet film. There aren’t egregious errors to it, but you don’t fall in love with any of the characters, except possibly Marta (the widow) and her family. There are a couple plot holes, some of the acting is pretty poor, and the formulaic story has some of Eastwood’s deft directing touch, but it’s not all there. I have seen this man in front of and behind the camera in so many films, and some of them are right near the top of my list of GOAT. I feel a slight tinge of pity as I say that Cry Macho is not on that list.

 

In Brief:

 

• I watched the very European film In Bruges. Highly critically praised, it was fine. Some clever stuff, but the humor hasn’t aged well and took a while to get going.
• October is looking to be full of films I’m excited for. Lots in store.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

 

Gillipedia Official Rating: Sonic approved.

          There are still 3 more Marvel movies to release this year including both a Venom and a Spider-Man movie, but for now at least, this is the best Marvel movie of 2021. And that’s not to discredit my true love Scarlett Johansson and her contract-disputed Black Widow (from my understanding, ScarJo has a really solid case in her lawsuit) which was a pretty good, mid-tier Marvel film. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is quite good and rises above a standard origin story.

          This movie is a family affair. We start in a really cool sequence centuries back where Shang-Chi’s (who will subsequently be referred to as Shaun) father conquers using the rings in a battle mixing ancient warrior weapons and the power of the rings. He later seeks entrance to a fabled village but is denied passage by a graceful and powerful woman that shows him a different side of life he never knew before. We flash forward to Shaun being taught and trained by his parents and then to present day where he is simply living his life with his ride or die Awkwafina (Katy). Believe it or not, the rings come back into play, and Shaun is attacked by his dad’s army for reasons unknown; and convinced that he’s after his sister next, he and ‘Fina head to Macau to thwart whatever plans his dad has.

          One of the first action scenes is when Shane-Chi is first attacked while taking the bus and fights henchmen including Razor Fist (almost as bad a name as Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’s Taser Face) and his razor saw arm. Prominently featured from the trailer, this scene is awesome. The martial arts action reminds me of 80’s Hong Kong action films, and how Shaun has to avoid Razor Fist is choreographed perfectly. There’s even a shot I’m convinced is an homage to a famous fight scene from Oldboy. Already introduced as an adrenaline chasing valet, it’s good to see Katy is able to get in on the action as the bus driver after the first guy passes out.

          There’s another adrenaline-filled action scene when they head to Macau, and then the movie slows down a bit to build up the stories and relationships more. The way the stories are revealed are well done if ever slightly predictable, and you really have to start getting nitpicky to find issues with the film. For instance, the main star is great, but some of his acting wasn’t the best. Like, whenever he has one line where it’s a reaction shot where he has to say something like, “Whoa what was that,” it comes off as unnatural and a little cheesy. He also looks more like a regular dude than an actual superhero, but there’s also a humble and charming quality about that. And he handles the action scenes so well, so I’d be very happy to continue to see his story continue.

          It feels like at this point it’s close to impossible to be a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and not have any characters from the other franchises show up in some shape or form in order to avoid the “But where was everyone else?” question. Without saying too much, the film does a great job where the rare soul that knows nothing about the extended universe can still fully enjoy this film, but there’s nods both small and large that will appease the impossibly difficult die-hards. I personally don’t know the comics plot lines or had any prior knowledge to Shang-Chi’s story, but I’ve become a fan.

          I did enjoy the first half a little more than the second. The first half has that classic martial arts action to it and is elevated by all the production and modern technology, but then the second half does feel a bit more Marvel-like and features more typical CGI action. And I’m also sure 6^th grade Gill would disagree and argue how much cooler the climactic action was, but fully developed, extremely mature -lol nah- Gill was more indifferent toward the finale.

          Dasani’s Katy is a good role and is charming. There’s a couple things during the climax that didn’t make much sense, but she has a solid character overall. It’s not her best role, but ah well. Shaun’s sister had some good action sequences, but her character was kind of flat.

          This film isn’t going to win the Oscar for Best Visual Effects, but the visuals are solid. Actually, they’re only good; however, they’re elevated by the way the film is shot. Like in the opening scene, the camera is planted square in the action, so everything that happens around it feels so dynamic. I still remember a shot from Captain America: The First Avenger where they sneak on top of a speeding train through a snowy mountainside. The camera was static, and it was so obvious that the mountain background was just the backdrop of a green screen. This film never has that issue.

          My initial reaction is to place this as a mid-high tier Marvel film. I was really impressed by the quick action, and the origin story holds more depth than other entries. Some of the recent series—Loki in particular—are afforded more time to develop some things than a 2-hour film like this, but the film moves along at a brisk pace. I enjoyed myself from start to finish. And also after finish since you already know there’s end credit scenes to look forward to (one quite reminiscent to The Mandalorian). Don’t wait the 6 months or whatever it might be for this to start streaming on Disney+. Go enjoy yourself and have a good time at the theater. I saw it standardly, but if 3D is an option, there were noticeably parts that I’m sure standout well in the upgraded format.

 

In Brief:

• I got around to The Old Guard on Netflix, a superhero film of sorts. I think the name is terrible, and the film is all over the place. Despite being a Charlize Theron fan, there’s no heart in this film. I think a sequel is being made, but I have zero interest in it.
• As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been making full use of the films simultaneously releasing in theaters and on HBO Max. Malignant is next, and I hold great skepticism because of how much it feels like this film has been under wraps, but I’ll probably give it a watch. Clint Eastwood comes up after that!

Reminiscence

 

Gillipedia Official Rating: I’m about to write a 1000 word review just to tell you, “I mean, yeah, it’s good.”

          I actually have a slight personal tie to this film. About 5 years back my oldest brother had a connection who was a producer looking for film scripts and had the script for this film. He passed it along to my brother who in turn gave it to me. The simple idea that I had access to a script that went on to both become a feature film and star Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Ferguson blows my mind. This was a script by Lisa Joy—co-creator of Westworld and wife of Jonathan Nolan—whom I’m sure we’re all well aware is the brother and sometimes writer for my favorite director Christopher Nolan. I don’t remember all that much of the script, but I do remember finding the idea very intriguing but didn’t impress me enough to leave a lasting impression. It’s very hard to say if this film was a financial bomb or not because it streamed simultaneously on HBO Max (how I watched it), but it did not have an impressive box office haul at the very least. Is this an underrated gem, or is this a high-concept, poor execution film? We’ll find out after a word from today’s sponsor.

          I accept donations in forms of Bitcoin. Now back to the review.

          I liked this film. It’s the near-future Miami, and the setting is a grimmer version of the San Antonio river walk where buildings are mostly underwater and travel by taxi canoes is commonplace. The heat is unbearable during the day, so most people go about their business at night. Either way, our protagonist Nick (Jackman) struggles to sleep while he runs his own business with assistant and Westworld showrunner Thandiwe Newton. They own a machine where you have to strip down to your undies and enter a clear tub of a water-like substance. And that’s it. That’s the business model… No, not really; they inject a relaxant into the customer and place a headset on them. Nick talks to them in a low, sexy voice in a mostly great American accent, and he travels with the customer through their memories which become projected as an interesting hologram looking thing in the room.

          Most of his customers are regulars. There’s an amputee veteran that likes to remember his days before the wheelchair, and a lady who can’t move past her ex-lover. If you remember that scene in Inception with the people that dream all hours of the day, then the dangers of this machine presents itself. Not a perfect human himself, Nick doesn’t judge. And his life takes a spin when the mysterious Mae (Ferguson) shows up because she can’t remember where she left her keys. Nick becomes infatuated with Mae, and after their encounter, he’s determined to find her again.

          Without going into spoilers, I’ll say that I’ve really only touched about the first 20 minutes of this film. The best way to describe things is that this is a film noir with the sci-fi twist of memories that touches the surface of the concept of time the way films like Inception have. The most interesting part of the film is the memory machine. Otherwise, the story isn’t bad, but it’s familiar territory. It’s also fortunate that Nick is written as an ex-soldier himself because there are a couple action scenes thrown in.

          I believe this is Lisa Joy’s directorial feature film debut, and I’ll be honest, she does a great job. All that time working on Westworld prepped her well for how to cinematically approach a scene and incorporate practical and visual effects seamlessly. Everything from the sci-fi to the action is well filmed. But the film also takes itself too seriously. I hope you’re prepared for narration throughout like the whole film. The darker tone would be fine with a more compelling story, but it just feels excessive and you wish Jackman would crack a smile once in awhile or sing about the greatest show. With that said, we all know that Jackman knows how to deliver intensity, and all the leads perform admirably.

          With a rotten 38% on Rotten Tomatoes, I think the critics came down a little harsh. I wouldn’t necessarily bother traveling to the theaters for this one, but if you and your couch are in the mood for a mystery thriller, feel free to stream it. Although the dialogue needs work, the film is still good. But just like the script from years back, you’ll probably end up forgetting about the film soon after. Only to be remembered in your memories. Ahaha…. But really, if this film is what you’re using your memories to remember, then you need to go to the beach. Go tip some cows. Find something at Dollar Tree priced over $1. I don’t know, make some memories.

 

In Brief:

• The Suicide Squad is also on HBO Max. I probably should’ve done a review for this one honestly. The best way to describe this film is James Gunn pitched this film as a joke, but then the studio greenlit it, so he actually gave his best effort. This film is vibrant, gory, hilarious, and stock full of random characters including Polka Dot Man which IGN constantly likes to remind me is a real Batman villain. I would say John Cena was amazing, but I didn’t see him the entire time.
• If you’re looking for something older, I finally got around to Weekend at Bernie’s and it didn’t disappoint. Very irreverent, but even to this day it holds solid jokes. I also watched Al Pacino in Serpico and that was pretty good.
• There’s multiple films coming out in September and October that I’m looking forward to streaming as well as seeing in theaters, so hopefully I manage my time well to make some reviews.

The Tomorrow War

Gillipedia Official Rating: Take it from me, don’t think about this movie, and you’ll enjoy it just fine

          Okay, so let’s think about this. For whatever reason, present day is 2022. Why not make it present day… in 2021? That would also give you a clean 30 year time jump because the future takes place in 2051. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This Amazon Prime exclusive film is advertised as a big blockbuster as they compete with Netflix to throw millions upon millions of dollars into production costs. The story is that soldiers from the future travel back and interrupt a soccer match—presumably the FIFA World Cup since it’s 2022—and talk of peace and prosperity to come and there’s no worries or a care in the world. Just kidding, it’s actually just impending doom stuff. They're losing a war against an alien race, and they created a machine that travels back and forth between their present time and 2022 in the hopes of recruiting humanity to help in the… tomorrow war.

          As for the very opening of the movie, it literally looks like the first draft to Guardians of the Galaxy as Chris Pratt is sucked into the sky in some poor effects and falls down into an apocalyptic city—a prelude to what’s to come 30 minutes from now. I will give props for the fact that the movie sets up the plot and themes relatively quickly so that we can get to the alien butt-kicking action.

          After the future soldiers arrive, we flash forward a couple of months to our hero Pratt teaching high school science. It’s hard to motivate the kids while chaos ensues throughout the world over how to help the future and the fact that nothing matters since the world ends in a couple decades anyways. Pratt soon receives news that he is getting drafted into the tomorrow war, and he heads to their agency without much of a choice. He is paraded around and gets some questions answered, but most soldiers hardly talk to him as they busily conduct tests on him to see if he qualifies for their program. They inform him that people who have already died before the war even started are eligible to be drafted. And very fairly, Pratt is in a frenzy as he learns that he dies in the near future and they respond by not telling him anything about it. Not cool, future peeps.

          So yeah, future dead people are eligible to help the future dying people. They insert a tracking device, and give Pratt 24 hours to get his affairs in order before he’s sent off for training for the war. Once he gets sent over, if he survives for 7 days, he will automatically be sent back to 2022 to resume his life. As far as a drafting process for a desperate war, it seems pretty logical to me. Pratt heads back home and his wife worries about him because the survival rates are close to only 30%, he visits his father played by the great J.K. Simmons that he had previously cut ties with, but most critically, he spends time with his elementary-age daughter. Simmons wasn’t around much for Pratt, so humanity’s survival comes second to Pratt’s motivation of wanting to return so that his daughter has a father.

          Most of the soldiers sent back to 2022 are pretty young, and most draftees are on the older side to help ensure there isn’t crossover in these people having met in the future. Pratt turns out to be a very solid choice as the lead because it has some of the more serious elements of an alien war like Edge of Tomorrow or Battle: Los Angeles, but his draft class buddies are aging, middle class workers, so they are rightfully so assigned to comedic side roles and Pratt is able to add his own flair in with them. Sam Richardson from the show Veep is particularly effective, and Mary Lynn Rajskub from 24 and Brooklyn Nine-Nine rounds it out. There’s also the super serious Dorian now already on his third tour, and once I saw him, I thought to myself that he seemed like a discount Aldis Hodge. Then, the credits rolled around after the film (as they do), and I saw the name Edwin Hodge, so turns out discount Aldis Hodge is actually just his brother.

          Their training gets cut short, and they get thrust into the line of duty. And then some error (never explained) occurs, and the time jump process malfunctions. Instead of a smooth transition, all soldiers are propelled into the river of time and we now return to the opening shot of the film where everyone is falling out of the skies. There’s a neat brutal shot of some people clipping buildings and helplessly falling to their deaths. There’s some tension from the angle of the shot as it looks like Pratt might miss a rooftop pool that he’s aiming to land, but he narrowly gets it. Even though this pool on a good day can’t be more than 12 feet deep and he would still be crushed. Even though after he lands in the pool someone falls in after and rams into him and that should also kill him. Or at least severely concuss him. But he gets out with ease since he’s the hero. Yes, this is a movie about time travel and aliens and I’m over here complaining about a rooftop pool in Miami.

          Pratt receives radio communication from a future colonel, and he takes a leadership role (fair enough, they explain that he led a squad in Afghanistan) in proceeding with their mission. There’s a group of scientists in a nearby building with important vials that they are tasked with retrieving. The following scene is one of the best in the film. In fashion of something like World War Z, 28 Days Later, or even A Quiet Place, genuine tension is created as they try navigating through stairwells in a building knowing full well that aliens are on their tail and they don’t know how powerful these creatures may be.

          A little after this scene, RVs are sent in to the rescue the team. There’s a shot of the team with smiles all around and cheering as the RVs blast into sight. And then the next shot is aliens ramming and destroying the vehicles, and it cuts back to show the shock and disappointment from the team. It feels mindlessly dumb. In this same sequence, there’s also slo-mo shots where director Chris McKay (The Lego Batman Movie) tries to channel his inner Zack Snyder. And I don’t think I give Snyder enough props. He absolutely over uses slow-mo, but it’s undeniable how cinematic and artistically staged the shots are. They’re stylish and excessive, but in this movie it just feels unnecessary.

          Now that you have a decent grip on the early stages of the film, let’s talk plot holes. First and foremost, as Pratt and his daughter (Pratt brat) are watching soccer, he explains to her that those players are the best in the world. I would like to point out that I am not in this film. So this statement is clearly incorrect.

          Here’s something that I’ll give props for and then immediately take back. Props: in the beginning they do a decent job of explaining things. Like, someone asks why not send the 2022 people to say 2048 before the war starts and warn everyone then. But they describe the flow of time as like a constantly flowing river, so they can send people back the 30 years, but time is still moving forward in that timeline as well as the present 2051 year where they’ve nearly lost the war. Doesn’t explain the fact that it brings them back to 2022 for whatever reason, but that’s okay. But one thing I wanted to give props for was a conversation about how the people being drafted are all dead by the time the youngling soldiers are born so that they don’t know each other. But they quickly break that rule after they jump forward into the war.

          The week timeline works logistically, but they don’t know how to use it properly at all. Pratt teams up with the colonel in the future in trying to find a way to beat the aliens. They find a possible serum, but they have to test hundreds of iterations to find the right mixture that will be effective against the aliens. Which the colonel single-handedly undertakes. They explain that she has a degree from I think MIT in genetic research, but I don’t believe that it’s nearly enough time. Or that only one person would be working on the testing.

          And probably the biggest plot hole I thought of is this. So the alien war has been going on for a couple years by the time the movie rolls around. That means that they were able to create a machine for time travel. But in the time it took to build this machine, you’re telling me they couldn’t find a viable solution against the aliens? One that Pratt by the way ends up helping discover in under a week’s time? I will have none of it. None of it I tell you!

          Let’s talk extra-terrestrial. The best effects are for the aliens. Yes, they’re too much of a grey-scale color, but they’re a decent mix of cool and frightening. Although I’m also not convinced that they are capable of wiping humanity out. Like if you make a noise in A Quiet Place, uh, yuh dead. But I digress. As for the rest of the effects, they’re passable. Like if this was 2013, the effects would even look good. But as it stands, the green screen usage is iffy. Speaking as the designated expert, I think the issue is the fact that you have the real elements, and then you distinctly have fake elements. And they don’t blend well. I’ll give 2 examples of where it worked extremely well. 1917 won the Oscar for visual effects. Yes, it has the whole single shot feel to it, but it’s a realistic war film. Where are the effects? All over, actually. But the visual effect assets are photorealistic and blend right into the shot that you don’t give them a second thought ever, and that’s why it won the Oscar. Something you can compare to more would be The Mandalorian. That show is a trailblazer in projecting the visual backgrounds and lighting right on set. But in order to achieve this, in the foreground they still have real props that they match up, so you can never tell where the real stuff ends and where the fake stuff begins.

          If you’re expecting a thriller that makes you think like a Christopher Nolan film, you might be disappointed. But if you’re looking for a neat sci-fi concept with a mix of action and comedy more like Edge of Tomorrow, you’ll enjoy yourself. It’s not as good and the plot isn’t as sound, but this film is still entertaining. It still feels like it’s a third or fourth draft of a script, and not quite a final draft where it all comes together seamlessly. But if you shut your mind off and enjoy the movie for what it is, it’s entertaining! And if you have Prime, you get to stream this blockbuster for free. So treat yourself to some Pratt, aliens, and a care-free good time.

 

In Brief:

• I just watched Black Widow. -Sigh- Oh how wonderful you are, Scarlett Johansson. Great cast, decent action. It’s a fitting story and film overall. Not perfect or exactly a standout Marvel film, but it’s pretty good.
• What I’m considering for my next review: A Stephen King classic with lots of heart and an engrossing cast.

The Intouchables + The Upside

 

The Intouchables

Gillipedia Official Rating: Don’t worry, this review comes with subtitles

          If you’re struggling to find quality content on Netflix, you absolutely need to check out The Intouchables. This 2011 French film is about a superrich quadriplegic (a word I struggle both saying and spelling) that hires a seemingly unqualified man with a criminal record that grew up in a rougher part of town to be his caretaker. It’s the kind of pairing that is destined to be a sentimental story, but there’s a couple things going for it that elevate it beyond your standard film. First, it’s not a sappy film that projects the two leads as heroes of light that are infallible; no, these are two men from completely different backgrounds that you naturally end up rooting for. Second, and more surprisingly, I was expecting humor from the film, but I was not expecting to laugh nearly as much as I did. This movie is hilarious.

          I knew I was in for a treat as quickly as the opening scene (it also helped that a friend highly recommended the film). We’re immediately introduced to nighttime Paris, and caretaker Driss is driving Philippe. There’s some well-crafted shots like a focused shot of Driss taking a moment to look over at Philippe with everything else out of focus. Philippe looks stoic, perhaps more disheveled, and only looks out the window. Driss decides to show off the expensive car they’re driving, and he speeds around cars through tunnels and on the freeway. It isn’t long before the cops show up with their sirens. The only dialogue we get is Driss betting Phillipe that he can outrun them. And the car chase that ensues is legitimately better than most action film sequences. There’s plenty of shots that feel like POV shots from the front bumper of their car as they swerve around traffic, and there aren’t cuts that hide any of the stunts or action. Eventually, they get pulled over where Driss starts yelling that his passenger is a paraplegic that needs to get to the hospital. Philippe dutifully plays along and foams from the mouth. The cops of course feel bad, and they end up offering an escort. As Driss returns to the car, he can’t contain his laughter as he really convinced the police to give them an escort. The mysterious edge of the situation has been lifted as the two blast “September” by Earth, Wind, & Fire with their police escort. It perfectly encapsulates the themes and mood of the film. There’s the heavy subject of Phillipe’s situation, once people around notice they take extra care to be sympathetic, and then Driss comes in to hilariously banter with Phillipe.

          It’s a strong start to the film that then goes back to the day Driss applies to be the caretaker. It took me longer than it should have to realize that it was Driss meeting Phillipe, but there’s a big difference in Phillipe’s scraggly beard in the first scene to when they first meet and is now clean-shaven—and necessarily so because it’s the best way to know we have indeed traveled back in time. It may have taken me a bit to realize it, but I appreciate that way more than there being a black screen that tells me “And now 4 months, 53 days ago…” And again, this scene is well done. The other applicants are all proper gents that take extreme caution to overtly praise Phillipe and all have backgrounds being caretakers and having degrees from prestigious universities. Driss skips a couple guys in line to hurry up for his interview. Not because he’s excited about the opportunity, but because he needs to show his parole officer that he’s applying for work and collecting the benefits. He struts in, flirts with Magalie who is the manager of the estate, and doesn’t have a second thought to Phillipe’s condition. In fact, he goes out of his way to crack jokes. It’s not exactly tactful, but it’s also not mean-spirited; rather, it’s more like the way you tease your friends. And to Magalie’s surprise, this is exactly what Phillipe is looking for, and he hires Driss.

          Driss enjoys a hot bath in his fancy sleeping quarters, and he starts to learn his role as caretaker—and the money that comes with it. He bonds with other workers on the estate, and he mostly dutifully performs. He has to feed Phillipe, bathe him, perform active stretches for him with the physical therapist to ensure his body doesn’t turn to mush, he has to pick him up to transfer him from his bed to the wheelchair, and he takes him everywhere like art galleries to buy overly priced works of abstract post-modern stuff. But he refuses a couple things. Like Driss has no interest in handling wiping duties for Phillipe’s backend situation. And he’s intrigued by Phillipe as well. While pouring some hot water, he accidentally spills a bit on Phillipe’s leg. Of course, he doesn’t react, so he pours way more all over as Magalie comes in and intervenes and Driss and Phillipe laugh it off.

          Driss is played by Omar Sy who has appeared in a couple of blockbuster American films. He has a couple scenes with his family and how they’re dealing with their own struggles that work pretty well, but the main attraction of the film is his bond with Phillipe. And like I said at the beginning, Driss isn’t a perfect guy. But every action he does is with a smile on his face. Or where others are more than happy to please Phillipe and go along with him, Driss calls him out. Phillipe will be first surprised, but as he turns to someone like Magalie, even she reluctantly agrees that Driss has a point. So what you get are tons of jokes from Driss, and they’re not all funny, but he laughs along with all of his own jokes, and you can’t help but feel that infectious energy.

          Omar Sy is the best, but Francois Cluzet is also great as Phillipe. He holds the sophistication of an aristocrat and listens to classical music. He doesn’t give away much with his emotions, but occasionally, Driss breaks through, and Phillipe can’t help but burst out in laughter. The film takes moments to let Phillipe lament his late wife and think back on the paragliding accident that put him in his current situation, but it’s not even a focal point. We all see the big wheelchair and man that can’t use his limbs. But Phillipe explains it better in the movie than I ever could in this review. Magalie asks him why he hired Driss, and he explains how he enjoys that Driss casually will try handing him the phone and forget that he can’t reach out to grab it. Because even though he needs obvious significant help and Driss is literally his caretaker, above all else, Driss treats him like a fellow person. And with all the interactions he has with the outside world looking down and sympathizing him, that’s exactly what Phillipe was looking for. And yes, Phillipe explains this in a conversation in a film. But he’s not bursting out in tears while dramatic Hans Zimmer music plays. It’s simply another moment in the film that is elegant and simple, and the filmmakers let the moments do all the talking.

          From top to bottom, this is an amazing film. It handles its subject matter incredibly, the acting is top-notch, and it has a true warmth to it while being quite funny as well. And there’s even scenes that I can really appreciate where Phillipe takes Driss paragliding and Driss is scared out of his mind. And they have a couple helicopter or paraglider shots, but they also handed the actors a couple of GoPros and showed off that these guys really went paragliding and it’s so much fun to see that.

          Now you know I both love and hate to say this, but the film isn’t perfect. First, it’s a French film, and you know, screw the French amiright. But no, I was expecting there to be a better tie-in as to why Driss and Phillipe were in the car in the opening scene and Driss takes the cops for a ride. It is in character, but there isn’t a moment that happens where you go Ohhhhhhhhh. Also, while I’m glad they kept it to a 2-hour runtime and it’s not a bad ending, they didn’t completely find a great way to end it either. The journey and story is completed, but it pales slightly to all the great moments from before. Regardless, put any skepticism you have aside for having to watch a film with subtitles on, and go watch The Intouchables. And create your own blog and review it there so that you can recommend it to your friends too. That second part is more of a suggestion, but go watch it! Do it! And remember: Les beignets du Café du Monde sont un peu surfaits, et la bonne méthode de sommeil est avec un ventilateur allumé, une jambe dedans et une jambe hors de la couverture, mais il doit aussi couvrir vos pieds.

 

The Upside

Gillipedia Official Rating: It’s still a vague title that isn’t great, but it admittedly works better than The Intouchables. But just the title, not the movie.

          I didn’t think this was a very advertised film—strangely so considering it starred Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston—but I had only heard of it and didn’t watch it until after The Intouchables. It’s the American remake of the film, and I was surprised how negative some reviews for it were. Some of the people referenced how it didn’t come close to the original, and others found it extremely overboard in creating a bond between two such extremes of people. Even the positive reviews tended to say good, but not as good. And that’s mostly where I’d describe I’d fall. You really only need to watch one of them which would be the original, but I feel like you’ll still come away satisfied if you watch The Upside.

          It both is and isn’t surprising in how similar the story beats are. Like some shots and scenes in themselves are fine, but it honestly almost feels like plagiarism in how much it tries to mimic the French version. It’s like if your friend wrote an essay and you were like, “Dude dude dude, just copy and paste the whole thing over to me. And I swear I’ll switch a couple things around.” To give the benefit of the doubt, many of the changes do feel like they were just trying to creatively be different and try something new, but there’s subtle changes that do make the film uniquely its own—but not really for the better.

          This is true right from the start. It’s the same situation where Hart’s Dell is driving Cranston’s Philip. And I’ll talk about the acting in a bit, but the biggest disappointment is from director Neil Burger (didn’t know his name or work off-hand, but he most recently did Voyagers and is best known for the decent Bradley Cooper film Limitless). Just the way things are framed, the camera is too close to Hart’s face, and none of the shots create a feeling of mysticism  or has the same deft touch or creates emotions of anything really. No truly, I basically felt nothing during this opening. And where Driss speeds around because it’s his carefree nature and he wants to live it up with Phillipe, Hart initially speeds because he gets frustrated by the slow drivers in front of him and is just trying to beat the light. Again, it’s a very small change and is in line with how both the characters are portrayed, but it just works better in the original. Also, the vital part where Driss has the escort and knows they got away with it and starts blasting Earth, Wind, & Fire is an awesome conclusion to the opening, and it’s missing from the American version. The car chase portion is also chopped up and feels like there isn’t any real stunts performed. There’s plenty of similar scenes, but The Upside cuts out just enough to where it loses some of the punch that the original delivers. But it actually has a longer runtime because they add a couple scenes and spend a little more time on different things.

          Where Omar Sy honestly is more suave, Hart delivers his line with more harshness. The best way to compare the two is when they first get hired. Sy jumps into bed playfully, where Hart lies down, a man down on his luck with family troubles, tired of what he hasn’t provided in the past and all that he needs to provide in the future. Hart’s backstory is the biggest difference between the two films. It’s about his ex and their child and how Hart hasn’t been there to help out. Lots of the added runtime comes from these interactions, and it’s a change I’d say works in benefit of the film. Oh, also, I know nobody is surprised, but after the first scene, there’s a big title card that reads “6 months earlier,” because, you know, despite this being a film geared toward an adult audience, we’re all idiots and need that extra context in order to understand the film.

          I will also give props to The Upside for giving Philip a backstory about how he made his money. There’s never anything revealed in the original, and here Cranston both is an author and an entrepreneur that helps businesses get off the ground. Admirable, indeed. Also, unsurprisingly, false. The real life guy the story is based on seems to mostly have inherited his money and the family hotel which isn’t a great way for audiences to bond with him—which is why I’m also guessing they left it out entirely from the original.

          There’s a similar scene in both films where they head to the opera. Where Driss kinda introduced Phillipe to stuff he likes, I think this film did a better job of making things a 2-way street where Hart and Cranston embrace each other’s interests. And the opera scene here is also done a little better.

          I appreciate that Hart ventured into a more dramatic role here and still exercises his comedic chops, but he doesn’t quite have Sy’s depth. Surprisingly, I also have to say the same for Cranston. This might be more of a difference in how the script was written, but Cranston feels more hollow than Phillipe whom has that hard exterior but you see it break away better with Sy. Magalie is now played by Nicole Kidman, and it surprised me to see her red hair, the same as Magalie. Like I understand wanting to keep a female in that role, but it’s not like the red hair was a necessary aspect of the character. Not that it matters, it just adds to the sense of this being more of a copy than an improvement.

          It’s that time again. Time for me to be a picky reviewer. As I’m sure all of you have already read, my last review was Luca. I complained that it could’ve drummed up more of a dramatic conflict in its last act. Here, The Upside manufactures conflict and tension where The Intouchables trusted in the story. Although it follows very similar beats, the original has the characters talking and acting in a manner that feels more like how they should in real life, but here it feels more like movie conversations that moves the story along but the motivations weren’t established and the resulting dialogue feels forced. To avoid a spoiler alert here, I’ll make up an example of what I mean. If a fish gains weight because another fish told him he was too skinny, he gets bigger. But if that same fish loses his job as a bubble blower down at the local reef and eats his sorrows away, he still gets bigger. The result is the same, but the reasoning behind how we got there is different.

          There’s still a slight disconnect with this film from the opening scene to returning to that point later in the film. It’s the biggest missed opportunity of both films, but I was disappointed this film didn’t take any chances to wrap that up better. And here’s a critique you probably won’t hear very often: the dolly work in this film is atrocious. The camera can’t move 5 feet without it wobbling. It feels amateurish and takes me out of the dramatic moments.

          You remember Disney’s Hercules? That voice actor is in here. Tate Donovan. Good guy. We had brunch just the other week.

          Don’t hate me for this, but this film uses Aretha Franklin, and I preferred Earth, Wind, & Fire from the original. But near the end Philip plays an opera song but it has Aretha, and it’s a really cool way that connected Cranston’s and Hart’s interests.

          Both films have dramatic moments and jokes. But The Intouchables lingers on the jokes a little longer, and Sy is laughing along and Phillipe breaks and joins in the laughter; with The Upside, it feels more like Hart when he’s roasting Stephen A. Smith. The Intouchables simply works better. You only need to see one of the two films and The Intouchables is a must-see film, but if you watch The Upside which can be found on Hulu, you’ll still have a good time.

 

In Brief:

I may have been a bit critical here of Kevin Hart. Don’t get me wrong though, it was a good performance. Omar Sy was better. But I did just watch Hart’s newest film on Netflix Fatherhood, and he’s very impressive. I really loved that story, and it’s a good film to bring a couple tears to your eyes over the hard work and love from family.