I Watched That Movie

 

Gillipedia Official Rating: Better than the other movie

          This movie just came out in the last couple of years, but it’s already a classic. It has all the elements we look for. It starts off with a classic story between a main character and their love interest, and their best friends. Taking notes from Homer’s tales, we’ve seen these archetypes before. But that’s not to say there isn’t a modern twist. Because there is. It’s set in present day.

          This is an original movie. And I mean that literally. You have movies based off books or previous works, and you have original screenplays. This movie doesn’t even have a script—it was simply filmed. And that’s the beauty of it really. Throw convention to the wind. That scores points in my book. And now we’re up to 3 points. Kevin, I hope you’re keeping score.

          I knew I had to see this film as soon as I heard there was a 20-minute one take shot. The movie was right at the 2 hour mark, but after the director watched Zack Snyder’s Justice League, he changed the entire sequence to slow motion. Does it add an extra 37 minutes? Sure. But it’s cinematic. And that’s a nice sounding adjective. 2 more points, Kevin.

          Streaming exclusively on Disney-, I remember watching this film in theaters. The Wi-Fi connection was spotty, but I think that was intentional. I also just about lost it when I saw a cameo appearance from that one guy who’s the real-life brother of the girl who almost landed the role of featured extra in Moulin Rouge! That scene ended up being cut from the final film, but I recognized the actor, and that’s really what matters here.

          PLOT TWIST. Keanu Reeves plays the villain. He wields two loaves of bread at all times and makes the “pew pew” sound as he uses them as shotguns. The visual effects aren’t perfect here, but I do appreciate the fact that they decided to go practical.

          -insert clever analysis here-

          Overall, this is a movie. I was hooked the whole time, and I only checked the status of my Amazon package twice. I was convinced there was an end credits scene and my patience appeared to finally payoff until I realized it was just the previews for the next screening starting to play. I recommend this film only to people suffering from high blood pressure.

 

In Brief:

• Boop.