Leon: The Professional

Currently, this is the #31 ranked movie by users on IMDB. I can’t even begin to name the multitude of films that are ranked lower than this film. Does it warrant all this love? Personally, I liked the film, but that’s honestly about it. There’s some controversy around the film that we’ll get into, and we can’t forget that this marked the film debut of 12-year-old Natalie Portman. From the writer/director of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, this was the movie that put Luc Besson on the map a couple of years before he really got acclaim for The Fifth Element.

            The second shot of this film is one of the most impressive, and it’s part of the opening credits. There’s an unbroken shot driving through the streets of New York that ends up at Tony’s diner where Tony is telling his “cleaner” Leon about the next target. The movie then proceeds to open up viscerally with a violent scene of Leon sneakily disposing of some baddies at a New York loft before capturing the drug dealer target. It’s a pretty solid action scene overall, but don’t expect it to either blow you away or for the film to sustain this kinetic energy. Actually, the movie slows down quite a bit to develop the questionable, um, bond between the two protagonists.

            When the day and the deed are done, Leon returns to his run-down apartment and interacts briefly with the cigarette-holding Mathilda (Portman) before going back to his place-- next door to Mathilda’s broken family, including her drug dealing father at the helm. Leon peers through the keyhole in his door to the hallway where the father is being berated by Gary Oldman and his henchman about some missing drugs. It’s certainly questionable that they openly discuss their plans and displeasures in such a manner, but it’s instantly established that the classical music lover leader Oldman is certifiably crazy. Nothing malicious happens here, but we’re now introduced to all the major ballplayers, so Leon settles back to his room where he drinks his milk, waters his favorite plant, and goes to sleep sitting up in a chair with his round shades on. The intention here is to establish that Leon isn’t a terrible person—he even has a golden rule of not killing women or children. And Jean Reno does a good job of portraying this socially introverted man, but I am still dubious about his abnormal obsession with milk.

            Oldman and his goonies return the next day because the father still hasn’t returned the rest of the drugs, and this is really the pivotal scene of the movie. Mathilda is conveniently away getting groceries, but the rest of her family isn’t so lucky. The father takes down one of the unimportant bad guys, but that’s the only damage he does as Oldman and his gang mercilessly wreck the apartment and kill the wife, older daughter, and younger brother. The best moment of the film comes next when Mathilda returns. She quickly sees two henchman guarding the door and understands that she can’t return; she slowly makes her way to Leon’s door. And it’s here that Portman has an incredible moment of acting where tears are welling up in her eyes, but she tries keeping a calm face so as to not raise suspicion, and she quietly pleads for Leon to let her in. He abides, and the second act of the film is allowed to start.

            We learn that Oldman is a detective in the police force, and although that explains how he’s been able to live with such reckless abandon so far, I can’t help but wonder how his promotions came to be. It’s a small critique, but the film comes apart a bit when you continue picking at the edges like with Oldman’s character. But I digress. The next section of the film is all Leon and Mathilda. She learns quickly about Leon’s job, and she asks to be trained to be a cleaner just like him so that she can exact her revenge on Oldman for killing her younger brother—the only family member she actually cared about. He relents, and they start training; Mathilda does stuff like the laundry and grocery shopping to pay her way.

            We learn more about Leon’s kind of sad existence where Tony supposedly has all of his money that he’s earned kept away safely, Leon used to have a woman but that fell through, and he can’t read or write which might be part of why he sticks to a strictly dairy diet. This is the part of the film where Luc Besson tries building the rapport between Leon and Mathilda. There’s a scene where Mathilda suggests they play a game, and she dresses up like celebrities like Marilyn Monroe, but Leon is clueless about it all. He is able to guess, however, Gene Kelly because he went to the cinema to watch Singin’ in the Rain. He in return puts in all of his effort for a very poor John Wayne impression. It’s a somewhat fun scene, but again, it feels like it should connect more than it does. The score of the film only adds to the light-hearted tone of the scene, but it’s not very ground-breaking.

            There’s also a part where they get kicked out of the hotel they’ve holed up in because Mathilda exclaims to the manager that Leon isn’t her father, he’s actually her lover. Now Jean Reno does his best to play the role where there’s no indication that he feels anything romantic for Mathilda, but it raises eyebrows more than I think Luc Besson would like. What is very sketchy are the connections I later learned about this film and Besson’s personal life. He met actress Maiwenn when she was 12 and he was 29, and they became romantic when she was 15—the legal age of consent in France (I think). She even had a child with him at the age of 16 (he cast her in The Fifth Element but left her for the star Milla Jovovich). Now it’s possible to try taking the film as it is, but it’s hard to separate the two—especially because the film is already uncomfortable by itself.

            Moving on from this controversial topic, it’s time for me to say something controversial. I don’t much care for Gary Oldman’s performance. There, I said it. Yes, he’s purposefully playing an over-the-top, pill-guzzling, corrupt cop; but it’s all just too much for me. Even his iconic “EVERYONE!” line does little more than make me chuckle. I think part of this is the cliched nature of how unhinged his character, part is Oldman’s performance, and another big part is Besson’s writing and directing. It edges more toward satirical and comical rather than the blend of suspenseful crazy that keeps people guessing. I’d much rather take German terrorist Oldman from Air Force One or post-apocalyptic cult leader Oldman from The Book of Eli than this villain. Oh, and very quickly, I know Jean Reno from Mission: Impossible and Godzilla, and he’s always been the subdued, tough, cool guy kind of role. He’s much more repressed in this, and it’s a good performance overall.

            The film comes to an explosive end with a couple clever moments, but I still don’t think it really hits the mark. Maybe the ending was fresher when it first came out, but it neither surprised me greatly nor made an overwhelming emotional impact because the second act fell flat. Jean Reno is good, but Natalie Portman really does shine here. There’s most certainly problematic morals here, and I wasn’t impressed by either Besson’s direction or writing. Overall, I fail to see this as a definitive classic. And it’s certainly not the 31^st best movie either. My suggestion is to pass on this.



In Brief:

• This is inevitably a slow period of the year. I still haven’t gotten around to Birds of Prey, and who knows if I’ll go to stuff like Sonic the Hedgehog.
• Despite the above bullet point, there’s actually a couple films I have in mind on what to review. I do think I know what I want to do next, and it also fits in with Black History Month. 
• One film I probably won’t do a full review on is Amazon’s The Torture Report. It’s an interesting story based on real-life events. Adam Driver is a good lead, and it’s packed with famous co-stars, but it’s very plot-heavy only interrupted by scenes of tort—excuse me—advanced interrogation techniques. Annnnnd it’s not exactly the best way to break up all the exposition even if it’s integral to the story. 
• I watched the very satirical Sorry To Bother You. There are elements I enjoyed here, and I like the lead LaKeith Stanfield, but man is it also weird. I guess maybe it’s too satirical? Can’t say I highly recommend it.
• The only thing that looks truly promising in March is A Quiet Place Part 2. John Krasinski gets to focus more on directing, and I can’t imagine a better move than bringing Cillian Murphy and Djimon Hounsou on board. And I do realize both Pixar’s Onward and Disney’s bazillionth live-action update in Mulan are also coming in March. I expect both to be good and make splashes at the box office, but they don’t get me excited.
• Here is the clip to Gary Oldman's iconic line I referred to in the review.

The Decade in Films (2010-2019)

            So here we are. I’m a little late to this party, but that’s okay. I made some categories to include my favorite movies of each year along with what I considered to be the biggest disappointments. If you’re interested in a comprehensive look back through each year, I actually do have an exhaustive list of all of those films along with my quick thoughts on them, but it’s such a long list that I decided to leave it off of this; but I will post that if people are interested. We will go year-by-year starting at the beginning, and -spoiler- at the end I will look at the decade as a whole. My metrics for films of the year basically entail whether I think it was executed well, the entertainment value, and probably the biggest weight goes to lasting impressions. The movies that have stuck with me the most and made the biggest impact are what you will see me praising the most. Well, without further ado, let’s look at what has ultimately been a great decade to go to the movies.



2010

Film of the Year: Inception – This was the easiest movie of the year pick for me. I mean, top 5 favorite movie of all-time. No question. No explanation needed.

            Runner Up: Shutter Island – Solid Scorsese film with a good performance from DiCaprio and has a lot of great supporting roles. Cool story overall.

            Honorable Mentions: The Town, The Fighter, Easy A – The first two are obviously heavyweights with great performances and emotionally gripping stories, but I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Easy A as well. Well done, Emma Stone.

Underrated Film of the Year: The Book of Eli – The action is awesome, it has a really cool vibe and palette, Denzel and Gary Oldman are fun, and it seriously has an awesome plot twist.

            Runner Up: Extraordinary Measures – You remember Brendan Fraser? Yeah, he teamed up with Harrison Ford for this movie, and I’m pretty sure nobody in the world remembers it. I haven’t seen it since it came out, but this definitely fits the bill as underrated.

Disappointment of the Year: True Grit – The Coen Brothers are definitely hit or miss with me, and even though the acting is great—breakout Hailee Steinfeld in particular—it really isn’t the compelling modern western I was hoping for.

Runner Up: Unstoppable – Chris Pine and Denzel trying to stop a train. I thought it looked really interesting when it first came out and heard nothing but good things. I got around to it, and it was just lacking in the thrills and it lost my interest.

Animated Film of the Year: Toy Story 3 – Probably the worst in the franchise, but I couldn’t quite convince myself to choose anything over it.

            Runner Ups: How to Train Your Dragon, Shrek Forever After – Really like How to Train Your Dragon, and its sequel is even better. I think Shrek Forever After is actually underrated. My list from best to worst is Shrek 2, Shrek Forever After, Shrek, Shrek the Third. And I will gladly defend myself for that list.



2011

Film of the Year: Moneyball – This probably isn’t film of the year for too many, but it holds a special place in my books. I love baseball, I saw this on my birthday, and this film is fantastic. And it even has Chris Pratt.

            Runner Up: Drive – This is one of my all-time favorite action films. It’s beautifully violent, has a great soundtrack, and has Bryan Cranston and Albert Brooks (Marlin from Finding Nemo). Huge fan of this movie.

            Honorable Mentions: Warrior, The Tree of Life, Midnight in Paris – I could make cases for all three of these films being the runner up. Warrior is an exceptional ensemble cast with great MMA fighting, The Tree of Life is beautiful and abstract (I don’t think Sean Penn still knows what his role in the movie was) and one of the best depictions of boyhood, and Midnight in Paris is one of the best rom-coms ever, and I constantly borrow from its themes.

            Almost Honorable Mentions: Source Code, Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol, Tower Heist, 50/50 – Does having an Almost Honorable Mentions list slightly defeat the integrity of the Honorable Mentions? It certainly does. But this is my list, and I can do what I want with it. Source Code is another that people have really forgot about, but it’s a great concept and is a joy to watch. I shouldn’t have to explain myself for including Tom Cruise movies in here, so I won’t. I am quite fond of Tower Heist, and I’d like to see more movies go the comedy route with clever films like this. 50/50 is an important film, and the fact that it can laugh at itself is amazing in my books.

Underrated Film of the Year: The Adjustment Bureau – This was where I became an Emily Blunt fan. I think the chemistry between her and Matt Damon is seriously some of the best, and it’s another really cool concept film. It’s not executed perfectly, but it’s still good.

            Runner Up: Flypaper – I feel like nobody knows about this movie, and it’s a bit of a shame. I took extreme inspiration from it when me and Amir performed our “Bank Heist” sketch back in high school. It’s loads of fun, and it doesn’t matter if it’s slightly illogical.

Disappointment of the Year: In Time – Unlike The Adjustment Bureau, the execution here is just unforgivable. This movie goes down for me as one of the coolest concepts ever with some of the worst execution. It truly is a disappointment, and even having Cillian Murphy couldn’t save the film.

            Runner Up: The Ides of March – A political thriller with Ryan Gosling and George Clooney sounds awesome. It really wasn’t very thrilling though. But it does have Philip Seymour Hoffman, and if you’ve ever heard me talk about him, you know it’s a golden rule that anytime he appears in a movie, that movie instantly becomes better. But this still wasn’t great.

Animated Film of the Year: Rango – Beautifully animated, this came out in the perfect year to win the Oscar. It’s such a good blend of quirky, funny, and smart.

            Runner Ups: Puss in Boots, Kung Fu Panda 2 – Both of these are beautifully animated. They probably wouldn’t be here in any other year, but they were charming enough to be the runner ups.



2012

Film of the Year: Skyfall – This is the best James Bond film ever. It’s so good on so many levels from locales, the villain, action, and story.

            Runner Up: The Dark Knight Rises – Ugh, it pains me not to put this as film of the year. Of course it lives in the shadows of The Dark Knight, but this is still an excellent Christopher Nolan film.

            Honorable Mentions: Looper, Zero Dark Thirty, Silver Linings Playbook – Looper is really what got Rian Johnson the gig for The Last Jedi. And it’s a really cool film. Maybe I just don’t know what I’m talking about, but I was also really impressed by the Bruce Willis prosthetics they put on Joseph Gordon-Levitt to make them actually look like the same person from different times. Katheryn Bigelow is an incredible director, and she showed it again with Zero Dark Thirty. Silver Linings Playbook is one of the best romantic movies I have ever seen. It's mature, it's funny, and it's incredibly acted and directed.

Underrated Film of the Year: Chronicle – Mentioned in my Valerian review, this might just be my favorite found-footage film.

            Runner Up: Warm Bodies – I really like this movie. It made me become a Nicholas Hoult fan, and it was a refreshing story when zombies were starting to be on the downward trend again.

Disappointment of the Year: The Cabin in the Woods – All I heard was omg, it’s so good. But it’s not what you think. It’s not what you think. So going in, I’m already wondering what it would be. But the secret of the film is pretty much given away in the first 15 minutes. Yes, there’s pieces of it that you don’t know about until much later, but I think with different editing, this is a much, much better film; otherwise, it fails on what it tries to achieve because it has no sense of subtlety.

Animated Film of the Year: Wreck-It Ralph – This really was not a good year for animated films. Brave is one of my least favorite Pixar films, but with that said, Wreck-It Ralph really is a good, funny movie.

            Runner Up: Rise of the Guardians – I struggled to find a runner up for this year. Even considered just not including one. I even gave Ice Age: Continental Drift a thought because of the lack of depth here. But I ultimately settled on Rise of the Guardians. Look, I’m not very proud about it, but oh well.



2013

Film of the Year: Prisoners – It was only nominated for Best Cinematography (well deserved) at the Oscars, and I believe this was the snub of the year because Gravity came out one week later and took all the spotlight. How Hugh Jackman, Jake Gylenhaal, and Paul Dano weren’t nominated for acting awards is beyond me. This was my introduction to Denis Villeneuve, and he's become one of my favorite directors. This is a very dark movie, so although it gets a super high recommendation from me, please do know that it’s dark and not always easy to watch.

            Runner Up: Mud – This is a great movie that takes inspiration from Tom Sawyer, and I’m glad to see Tye Sheridan has had continued success from this. This I believe is also really what put Matthew McConaughey back on the map.

            Honorable Mentions: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Captain Phillips, American Hustle – Surprisingly, Catching Fire became the best movie in the series. Part of that is credited to Phillip Seymour Hoffman who I always say was the best actor of this generation. Captain Phillips isn’t masterful, but the hand cam shots and intensity are really something else. And those last five minutes with Tom Hanks will destroy every single person. American Hustle is just a good movie with another transformative performance from Christian Bale and legitimizes Jennifer Lawrence as a serious contender year in and out.

Underrated Film of the Year: Escape Plan – Not the best movie in the world, but it’s just fun to watch everything unfold, and I enjoyed Jim Caviezel as the villain. It gets the award this year because it might not be the best, but it certainly gets overlooked.

Disappointment of the Year: Inside Llewyn Davis – The Coen Brothers are always unpredictable, but seeing all the high praise for this movie brought my spirits up. Oscar Isaac is good, and there’s a fantastic scene with Justin Timberlake and Kylo Ren, but this movie is so dreary. 60s era New York with nothing but an occasional folk song didn’t cut it for me.

Animated Film of the Year: Monster’s University – This certainly isn’t Pixar’s best, but they already had a fan in me considering Monsters Inc. is probably my favorite Pixar film. There’s depth, the movie moves at a brisk pace, and this takes home the prize in a somewhat down year for animated films.

            Runner Up: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 – My goodness there are so many food puns. Is the sequel to one of my favorite animated movies of all-time unnecessary? Absolutely. But with the puns and the good visuals and the absolute most adorable marshmallows, you can’t diss too much on this film.

Side Note: 2013 gets the award for worst year in film of the decade.



2014

Film of the Year: Whiplash – This is one of the most intense movies I have ever seen. J. K. Simmons gives the performance of a lifetime, and I can’t throw this movie enough praise. Damien Chazelle is 3 for 3 with movies in my books.

            Runner Up: Birdman – From casting Michael Keaton in the lead role to the incredible way this film is shot, this is such a good movie from top to bottom with the likes of Zach Galifianakis, Emma Stone, and Edward Norton. And Emmanuel Lubezki gives Roger Deakins a run for his money for greatest cinematographer of all-time.

            Honorable Mentions: Interstellar, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Boyhood – It may not be Christopher Nolan’s best, but I would be completely remiss if I didn’t give an honorable to Interstellar. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a top three Marvel movie for me, and that is largely due to the incredible fight choreography and Robert Redford as a villain. Boyhood is one of the top three best depictions of, well, boyhood in any movie. The whole concept of shooting one scene a year for 12 years may make this a cooler concept than actual movie, but it’s still a very solid result. And the credits open up with “Deep Blue” by Arcade Fire.

            Almost Honorable Mentions: X-Men: Days of Future Past, Gone Girl, John Wick – X-2 is the second-best X-Men movie, and taking the cake is Days of Future Past. Forget about conflicting timelines and junk like that, this movie is fun, smart, and does the ultimate good by introducing the world to Quicksilver. When you know that Rosamund Pike is playing a primary role, you know that she has to come back into play somehow in Gone Girl. But beyond that, I think this film works very well and has a great supporting role from Neil Patrick Harris. Also, completely relevant, since Ben Affleck has now played as Batman and you see all of him in this film, all jokes are on the table like the Dark Knight rises. Did I expect/know anything about John Wick when it first came out? No, of course not. My last thought about Keanu was from 47 Ronin, and the days of The Matrix and Speed were far gone. But I seriously hope Hollywood will finally listen after the immense success of Chapter 3 because John Wick is how action movies need to be made—stop with the quick, choppy editing that everyone tries unsuccessfully borrowing from the Bourne trilogy.

Underrated Film of the Year: It Follows – This is one of my favorite horror movies. When you tell people about the story, it’s hard to not be like yeahhhh, I don’t know about that. But the idea of a supernatural creature constantly, slowly walking toward you I also believe is like the movie The Departed—just such a cool concept. Overall, very well done.

            Runner Up: Snowpiercer – This gets the award with a better ending. The setting, the characters, and of course the action are all great. And then the whole thing derails in the climax. You don’t have to try for a big climax to make a compelling action film! I’m still frustrated over this.

Disappointment of the Year: Kingsman: The Secret Service – I don’t have a great pick for this year. There’s some good action and world-building, but I think I was just expecting more. But I wouldn’t blame you for being disappointed in my pick for Disappointment of the Year.

Animated Film of the Year: The Lego Movie – With laughs-a-minute, a clever story, and some great characters, not too many people were setting their sights on this film, and then it blew everyone away. I still think it’s hilarious, and it has got to be one of the five best animated films ever for me.

            Runner Up: How to Train Your Dragon 2 – I can’t tell you how much it pains me to put this as a runner up, but The Lego Movie is such a classic. This is still one of the best animated movies of all time—I’d also argue to put this as a top five animated film. The story is sharp, the character developments are a natural progression from the first film, the visuals are top-notch, and what really stands out the most is how engaging the non-action scenes are. I have never seen an animated film as well-directed in the talking scenes as this one.



2015

Film of the Year: The Revenant – This is an absolute masterpiece from Alejandro Inarritu. DiCaprio, Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson, and even Will Poulter give it their all. And this is probably my favorite of Emmanuel Lubezki’s work (The Tree of Life is also amazing). This is the film of the year. There’s no doubt about it.

            Runner Up: Mad Max: Fury Road – So, so, so, so good. Pick any one of the action scenes, and it would easily be the standout scene of another film. There’s also a flaming guitar. Just c’mon. So good.

            Honorable Mentions: Ex Machina, Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation, The Hateful Eight – I almost had Ex Machina as the underrated film of the year, but I don’t think anyone who has seen it disagrees that it’s a great film. Alicia Vikander is amazing, the special effects are insane, and Alex Garland continues to prove he’s an excellent director. I could watch Tom Cruise hanging off the side of an airplane all day. That’s easily a highlight of Rogue Nation, but the opera and underwater scenes are also fantastic. Believe it or not, but I do have a critique as well. The third act of this film comes off almost like a heist, and you know some sort of twist is coming, so some of the kinetic suspense I have come to expect from MI was missing. The Hateful Eight is probably my second-favorite Tarantino film behind Inglorious Basterds. I love the writing in this film, and it’s a wonderful balance of story-telling mixed with Tarantino’s signature violence.

Underrated Film of the Year: Tomorrowland – I don’t want to come off like this is one of the best movies of the year. But as far as family-friendly movies goes, I thought this was surprisingly good. It may have been a bit of a flop and stained Brad Bird’s squeaky clean record, but the six-minute one-shot scene alone is enough to make up for the somewhat slow pacing and lack of actual Tomorrowland. Yes, there’s untapped potential, but I still believe the movie is better than what people give it credit for—for those that even bothered to watch.

            Runner Up: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. – This is a better movie from Tomorrowland, but it’s not nearly as underrated. I really want to see a sequel here because I could watch the charisma of Henry Cavill, the sneaky qualities of Alicia Vikander, and the quality Russian accent from Armie Hammer all day. If you’re looking for a Bond-esque film, this does the trick. Consider me impressed.

Disappointment of the Year: Brooklyn – I’m a huge fan of Saiorse Ronan, and she’s great here. How she develops her relationship with Tony is also well-developed. But then she heads back to Ireland after like over an hour in Brooklyn, and they try convincing you that she’s considering Domhnall Gleeson whom she spends maybe 15 minutes with. I understand movie gotta movie, but you could’ve split the time up more evenly to get the emotional response you wanted from the ending. It’s a well made and good movie, but I don’t think it’s as good as it’s made out to be.

Animated Film of the Year: Inside Out – I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this. It’s honestly one of Pixar’s best films. I am absolutely borrowing from the incredible themes from this movie, and it gets my highest of recommendations.



2016

Film of the Year: La La Land – This was one of the easier decisions for me this year. This film is absolutely amazing. It’s one of my two favorite musicals ever along with Singin’ in the Rain. “City of Stars” is so good.

            Runner Up: Everybody Wants Some!! – This is the spiritual successor to Dazed and Confused. Dazed and Confused is only decent in my opinion—you’re much better off watching American Graffiti. But I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Everybody Wants Some!! It’s actually really funny, and it’s just such a joy to watch. The “Rapper’s Delight” scene is instantly rewatchable.

            Honorable Mentions: Hail, Caesar!, Hacksaw Ridge, Doctor Strange – I was not expecting to enjoy Hail, Caesar! as much as I did. There are a couple really memorable scenes, but the whole cast kills it (with the highlight being Ahren Ehrenreich who would go on to star in Solo: A Star Wars Story), and this ranks near the top of Coen Brothers films. Hacksaw Ridge is a great movie with great characters, and it honors the real-life hero in the best way possible. Great work from Mel Gibson and Andrew Garfield. Doctor Strange is one of my biggest regrets to not see on the big screen. It takes some aspects from the likes of Inception, and doubles down on the trippyness, and I am all about it. Yes, this is essentially another Tony Stark origin story but with a less-likable character at the beginning, but this is so good, and I can’t wait for the sequel.

Underrated Film of the Year: Everybody Wants Some!! – Not many people know about this movie, and I hope that changes. Skip out on Dazed and Confused, and just watch this movie. It’s really great.

Disappointment of the Year: Sausage Party – I was expecting many jokes to be much better. It’s possibly the biggest example I can think of crude humor that is just gross and not funny. I already knew about the infamous scene at the end going in, but that’s a non-factor. I’m shocked by the overwhelming positive reviews of this movie because at the end of the day, I am reviewing it on how funny it was, and it was surprisingly not at all. And the animation is really weak as well.

            Runner Up: Jason Bourne – This movie feels like Paul Greengrass is trying to copy his own style from Supremacy and Ultimatum. And it also borrows story points from both as well. I had higher hopes that they would do this right, and it falls flat.

Animated Film of the Year: Zootopia – There was minor backlash from this film from conservatives about the liberal, Hollywood message blatantly slid into this film, and I think that’s somewhat ridiculous. This is one of the most impressive animated films ever with ground-breaking visuals, a strong story, and a good message. I love this movie.

            Runner Up: Moana – Yeah, it’s pretty good. Better than Frozen for sure. Would I take this over Tangled though? Hmm.



2017

Film of the Year: Blade Runner 2049 – This still stands as the best use of visual effects in a movie ever for me. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the original but recognized its value, but I actually really, really like this movie a lot. The story is a wonderful continuation, Denis Villeneuve kills it as director, and Ryan Gosling is the perfect choice for the lead role. This is a weird honor to give, but I would probably say this has my favorite sex scene ever—and it includes a hooker and a hologram. But it’s so much more than a sex scene; it is a great insight into the character, and the technology is mind-blowing. The technology in here is also my favorite use of futuristic technology in a movie. There’s so much more I could talk about, but just know that I love this film.

            Runner Up: Star Wars: The Last Jedi – I’ll keep this brief because I’ve talked about this movie enough in its own review and other reviews. I seriously would recommend people re-watch this and take a look back at each of the character arcs and how they integrate with the film’s themes because it’s actually really well done from a filmmaking perspective.

            Honorable Mentions: John Wick: Chapter Two, Dunkirk, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – I’d argue that the first is better than Chapter Two (with Chapter Three undeniably the best one), but there’s still so many cool things about this movie—in particular the fight with Common. Dunkirk is an amazing film which I need to watch again. The way the tension continues to build is one of the most literal ways that made this an edge-of-your-seat thriller. You know I can never give enough praise to Christopher Nolan. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri should’ve won Best Picture. The dark humor is excellent, and the flawed characters are so much fun to watch. I’m glad to see Sam Rockwell doing so well.

Underrated Film of the Year: Hostiles – I really think this movie came and went and people didn’t realize. The landscapes are beautiful, Christian Bale is amazing, Rosamund Pike is so good, and the last shot always gets me. It’s a classic story where a group of people travel together and slowly get killed off, but it’s just really good. People should watch this movie. And it has Jesse Plemons whom I will always give a shoutout to because he’s always impressive and you’ve probably seen him (most recently in The Irishman) but had no idea who he was.

            Runner Up: Life – As pretty much a modern update to Alien, I’m surprised by how little people remember this movie. I think it passed over many people’s radars when it first came out—myself included—because it didn’t look like a fresh enough take on the genre. But I thoroughly enjoy this movie. The villainous creature is ominous and powerful enough to create true terror, there are some great actors and actresses providing their all, and it all comes with an ending for people to debate about. There are some quiet, unassuming shots of the alien organism dashing along the outside of the ship, and I would’ve liked to seem more of stuff like that. But this movie is much better than I think people give it credit for.

Disappointment of the Year: Murder on the Orient Express – I didn’t really want to put this here because there are much, much worse films, but I didn’t have expectations for those films to begin with. When you’re reading the book, you are constantly aware of who Poirot is talking to, and that helps keep all the characters straight in your head. This film doesn’t get that luxury because it has to keep moving along for pacing. It’s not a terrible movie, but I would like to give a huge recommendation to the Agatha Christie novel because that is superb.

            Runner Up: Ghost in the Shell – I think the whitewashing controversy around the film was dumb (especially when the character in question is a cyborg), but that doesn’t go into my consideration of a review because I will actually review the movie simply based on its merits. And as much as Scarlett Johansson will always receive my love (even if she’s now with Colin Jost), I really can’t go and recommend this movie. The opening is the best, and there are some neat visuals at hand, but the movie suffers from a confused tone and underwhelming plot.

Animated Film of the Year: Cars 3 – Maybe it’s wrong to put this here, but I haven’t seen Coco yet, so that can’t qualify. But don’t overlook this movie. It’s a kid’s movie with a surprisingly mature theme, and it’s really just a good movie. I wouldn’t blame you for having skipped over it, but give it a watch.

            Runner Up: The Lego Batman Movie – I came in expecting to enjoy this movie but not as much as The Lego Movie. In that regard I was right, but this still surpassed my expectations. There’s some really funny moments (like the shoutouts to Jerry Maguire), and I was happy to see the Lego franchise continue making quality films (not so much anymore).



2018

Film of the Year: A Star is Born – When I really think about it, this was the best movie I saw all year. I got absolute shivers during the singing of “Shallow,” and Lady Gaga shows she can do more on-screen than just participate in a foursome (American Horror Story: Hotel episode 1). When I first heard Bradley Cooper, I thought wow, he’s doing a great Sam Elliott impression; then, Sam Elliott showed up. And everyone from Elliott to Dave Chappelle are great. This movie will absolutely wreck you, and it’s a fantastic movie.

            Runner Up: A Quiet Place – This is an awesome concept executed to the highest degree. I love every aspect about this film, and Emily Blunt is fantastic. I’m so happy to see her and Krasinski team up in an awesome film. I waver on saying best horror movie of all-time, but there’s certainly an argument to be made.

            Honorable Mentions: Annihilation, Mission: Impossible: Fallout, BlackKlansman – The more I look back on it, the more I enjoy Annihilation. The first two-thirds are standard group survival thriller tropes done very well, but then it kicks into high gear for the final third. That freaking mutated bear creature is one of the scariest things put on film. Director Alex Garland is impeccable, and there are small details like the rainbow hues in the light shining through in the Shimmer that just add to the already great aesthetic. And then there’s that ending that goes absolutely bonkers and trippy and I’m all for it. I started getting hyped for Fallout after watching the gnarly footage of Cruise's stunt where he jumps to another building and breaks his foot, but I wasn’t expecting to enjoy the movie this much. It’s starting to teeter right on the edge of too far over-the-top, but it sticks the landing just enough here. As awesome as the helicopter climax is, the back-to-back skydiving scene followed with the bathroom fight is Mission: Impossible at its absolute best. I love this movie so much, and I’ll stop here to try containing myself. BlackKlansman is an excellent film. John David Washington and Adam Driver kill it, and this movie is hilarious. I don’t like the ending, but that’s not enough to not sing this movie’s praise.

Underrated Film of the Year: Upgrade – I almost also included this as an Honorable Mention. This is a sleek sci-fi film that depends a lot on Logan Marshall-Green. It’s too bad that Fallout is as good as it is because the action in this is awesome. It’s a total sleeper hit, and I recommend anyone wanting an action movie to go check this out.

            Runner Up: Overlord – It’s too bad Fallout and Upgrade are as good as they are. I won’t go so far as to say this is a great action film, but it’s pretty close. Considering the little fanfare it got, it definitely is worth getting the underrated nod.

Disappointment of the Year: Solo: A Star Wars Story – I can’t say I was psyched about a Han Solo film to begin with. Then, after watching The Age of Adaline, I was even less excited that they didn’t get the young Harrison Ford from that. In a similar vein as the Joker, I enjoy this character more not knowing every little detail of his past. I think Ron Howard does what he can, but this movie definitely made Disney put the brakes on a bit of releasing so many Star Wars films. Donald Glover does deserve a shoutout for his work as Lando—easily the best part of this movie.

Animated Film of the Year: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse – I debate back and forth in my review on whether I think this is the best Spider-Man movie alongside Homecoming. While I will continue to sidestep that debate, this is most definitely the best animated movie of the year, and it’s one of the best animated movies of all-time. It’s incredible to look at, amazingly funny, and a bunch of other adjectives that have been associated with Spider-Man. I can’t say enough about how much I like this film. Possibly enough to call it the best Spider-Man movie? You know what. That’s a safe enough assumption. This is so great.

            Runner Up: Incredibles 2 – I feel bad for Incredibles 2 because it’s such a good movie. There’s an improvement with the villain, the character arcs all work great, and we finally get to see the fight with the Underminer. This is a slick film with such a great Jack Jack, but Dash gets more annoying and if you’re going to give us so little Frozone, you better back that up by telling me he gets his own spin-off. This really is a great Pixar film—especially for sequels—but it just so happened to come out the same year as one of the best animated films of all-time.



2019

Film of the Year: Marriage Story – Yeah, this was the best movie of the year. It’s engaging the whole way through, the leads are brilliant and have a great supporting cast, and it’s just overall such a good movie. Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver. Check them out.

            Runner Up: Knives Out – This was the most fun I had all year at the theaters. I love this genre of movie, and it’s obvious that Rian Johnson does as well. Go watch this movie.

            Honorable Mentions: Joker, John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum, Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood – Joker is definitely not the most enjoyable film I watched all year. This is such an interesting and authentic look at the psyche behind the extremes of having a bad day. I don’t think it’s fair to compare the Jokers because of all them have different takes on him, but Joaquin Phoenix is tremendous and deserves all the awards. Parabellum is the best in the trilogy, and it’s just straight up one of the best action films out there. I love it so much. Hollywood is not my favorite Tarantino film; in fact, I think he tries showing off too much and the film is slightly bloated because of it. But DiCaprio is great, Pitt is even better, and Robbie should’ve been featured more. I do love the story, and despite my critiques, it’s undeniable that this is a very good movie.

Underrated Film of the Year: Ready or Not – Not the best film of the year by any stretch, but it’s one of the most deserving of the title underrated. It’s quirky enough that it might put some people off, but I think Samara Weaving is wonderful, and I was pleasantly delighted by this horror flick.

Disappointment of the Year: Doctor Sleep – I wasn’t jumping out of my chair to go see this, but I certainly had hope with Ewan McGregor in the lead and Emily Blunt in the film as well. More of a  drama than anything, and much more contemplative than expected, this film subverts expectations—but it doesn’t quite do so with success. The love for The Shining is evident, but there’s simply not enough of an engaging story or thrills to warrant a recommendation for this.

            Runner Up: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker – My expectations were pretty mild for this movie. Even then, the film didn’t reach that. I really don’t want to be critical here because of how much I adore this franchise, but there is just so much that Abrams messed up here. It’s a huge step back, but maybe this means that people will actually come to appreciate The Last Jedi more because it’s seriously a really good film—not just for Star Wars.

Animated Film of the Year: Toy Story 4 – I really did enjoy The Hidden World, but Toy Story 4 has a lot of good coming for it, and it’s a step up from Toy Story 3. It has surprisingly little humor, but the characters and story are poignant enough to be satisfying. This is a great place to end. Don’t give us Toy Story 5. We don’t need it.

            Runner Up: How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World – Not quite as good as 2, this is still a great capper to one of the best animated trilogies ever. I love the villain, the landscape shots are beautiful, and I was happy to see this franchise go out on a high.



2010-2019

Film of the Decade: Inception – I have to go by lasting impact here. Whenever I ponder my top five films of all-time, this is always in consideration. Blending sci-fi, thrills, and a clever plot is the way to my cinematic heart.

            Runner Up: The Revenant – Alejandro Inarritu is one of the most impressive directors of all-time, and this is a masterpiece of a film. DiCaprio rightfully got his Oscar, and the supporting cast is terrific. This is one of the most beautiful films you will find thanks to Emmanuel Lubezki.

            Honorable Mentions: Whiplash, Skyfall, La La Land – Congrats to Damien Chazelle for having two films up here. Whiplash is incredibly witty and intense. J.K. Simmons puts in a performance for the ages. Skyfall is not only the best Daniel Craig Bond film, it’s just the best Bond film. It does everything right from the villains to the locale to the action. Terrific film. La La Land rounds it all out. It’s simply everything I could ask for in a musical.

Underrated Film of the Decade: Everybody Wants Some!! – This was a tough decision, but as far as films that people aren’t familiar with, this tops the list of unknowns while still being an amazing film. It’s the spiritual successor to Dazed & Confused, and I think it is much, much better. This is such a funny movie, and it’s great from start to finish.

            Runner Up: Upgrade – There are a couple small issues I have with this film, and it’s by those smallest of margins that this is runner up and not the winner. But as far as action or sci-fi films are concerned, it’s hard to do better than this.

Disappointment of the Decade: In Time – It’s not the worst film, but it does feel like it wastes such an interesting concept. It’s almost saved by the addition of Cillian Murphy, but it’s not enough.

            Runner Up: Sausage Party – Now this film is just bad. I’m not against crude humor; it just needs to be funny. This wasn’t. An essentially R-rated Toy Story is a fun idea, but this was really bad, and I’m sincerely surprised that it received an overall positive reaction.

Animated Film of the Decade: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse – It just had to be this movie. I’d argue that my favorite animated films ever would be The Lion King (1994) and Monsters Inc, but this has an argument for taking third place on that list. Fantastic.

            Runner Up: The Lego Movie – This is such a classic for me. I love the frenetic, laughs-a-minute pacing and really fun story at hand here. There’s a way to do irreverent humor, and this film balances it perfectly.

            Honorable Mentions: Inside Out, How to Train Your Dragon 2, Zootopia – I wasn’t planning on doing an Honorable Mentions section here until I realized what films I would be leaving off. Inside Out is one of Pixar’s best, and I think it is clearly their best effort of the decade. How to Train Your Dragon 2 is one of the most impressive animated films of all-time, and it’s hard to not put it as runner up. It does everything right and better. Zootopia is a true feat in animated filmmaking. It backs up its incredible visuals with a smart story and fully realized environments.



            And there you have it! I would like to point out that 1917 didn’t get a wide release until Jan 10, so I excluded it from contention for 2019. With that said I still think Marriage Story is the better film. Which brings us to the perfect segue. Time to give out my Oscars predictions. But before I do that, I’d like to say thanks for reading through my decade in review. I spent a long time compiling the list, and I’d like to know what other people thought because I know for a fact that people will disagree with me at least somewhere in there.



Oscars Predictions:

Best Picture: 1917 – This is looking to be the safest bet.

Gill’s Pick: Marriage Story – See above.

Best Actor: Joaquin Phoenix – I’d love to give an award to Adam Driver, but he simply can’t compete with what Phoenix did.

Gill’s Pick: Same.

Best Actress: Renee Zellweger – I haven’t seen the film, but she’s been sweeping up the awards for this.

Gill’s Pick: Scarlett Johansson – I truly believe she’s deserving of the award for her performance in Marriage Story. It’s captivating, and I hope she beats out Zellweger.

Best Supporting Actor: Brad Pitt – He was indeed the best part in Hollywood, and he deserves it.

Gill’s Pick: Same.

Best Supporting Actress: Laura Dern – I don’t have confidence in this, but of the performances in Marriage Story, I can’t say Dern is deserving of an Oscar for it—but she certainly was good enough for the nomination.

Gill’s Pick: Kathy Bates – Laura Dern is actually the only performance I’ve watched of the nominees, but based off of what I said above, I feel inclined to choose someone else. Hence, Bates.

Best Director: Sam Mendes – This seemed to be more up in the air until he won the Golden Globe and the movie released nationally and everyone saw how much work had to be done. I’m still in shock over the amount of planning that must have occurred—every extra feels like their own personality and it’s simply impressive.

Gill’s Pick: Same.

Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino – Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood features a lot of what the critics love about the movies. It’s a great film, but I’m not sure I’d give Tarantino the award for this one.

Gill’s Pick: Rian Johnson – In fact I’m positive I wouldn’t give Tarantino the award. While Tarantino gave a love letter to Hollywood, Johnson gave a love letter to Agatha Christie with his movie Knives Out. I love the originality, the storytelling, the quirky whodunnit mystery, and the extremely witty dialogue. Of movies I saw in theaters this year, this was my favorite.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Steven Zaillian – The Irishman was really good, but I never found it to be Scorsese’s best by any means, and it’s looking like the critics have been agreeing with me this award season. Except perhaps for best supporting actor, the most deserving category The Irishman should win for is adapted screenplay.

Gill’s Pick: Todd Phillips & Scott Silver – I’m very tempted to give this to Steven Zaillan, but I think Todd Phillips is just a little more deserving for the deep, psychological dive he did with Joker. But I do think Zaillian will win.

Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 4 – Everyone, including the filmmakers themselves, were shocked when Missing Link won the Golden Globe. But Toy Story 4 still feels like the favorite.

Gill’s Pick: Same – I did enjoy The Hidden World, but Toy Story 4 takes the animated cake.

Best Documentary Feature: American Factory – I’m not going to bother pretending to know what I’m talking about here.

Gill’s Pick: Same

Best International Feature: Parasite – I mean, c’mon. This might just be conjecture here, but I think the only international film nominated for best picture (with a real chance at winning too) will be the winner here.

Gill’s Pick: Same. Obviously.

Best Original Score: Hildur Juonadottir – Only way she doesn’t win is because the presenters don’t know how to pronounce her name, give up, and declare either Randy Newman or John Williams the winner.

Gill’s Pick: Same – I was happy when I called this at the Golden Globes, and I’ll be equally happy to see her win the Oscar as well.

Best Original Song: “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” – Going again by what happened at the Globes to call this one.

Gill’s Pick: “Into the Unknown” – So I actually decided to listen to all of these songs before making this decision. “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” has a nice cheery tune that I think the Academy will enjoy, and Cynthia Erivo has the best singing for “Stand Up,” but I actually have to say that I personally enjoyed “Into the Unknown” the most. But I can see “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” having more of a lasting appeal.

Best Sound Editing: 1917 – Although I don’t have it as the big winner, 1917 will take home multiple awards—one of them being for sound editing.

Gill’s Pick: Ford v Ferrari – I still get editing and mixing confused, but I think the sound editing that was done during the race sequences is superb and worthy of dethroning 1917.

Best Sound Mixing: 1917 – Maybe 1917 will actually only win one and that one is mixing, so just to be safe, I’ll have it as the winner for both.

Gill’s Pick: Once Upon a Time…In Hollywood – Is this going to win? Most likely not. And you can easily make an argument for either of the two films mentioned above for editing, but I’ll go ahead and give this to Hollywood.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Bombshell – I have seen nothing more than the posters for this movie, but the makeup and hair look impressive. So.

Gill’s Pick: Same.

Best Costume Design: Joker – I think the red suit is iconic enough to get the win here.

Gill’s Pick: Same – I can really seen any of the nominees winning, but I can’t get over how much the red suit helps Phoenix’s Joker stand out from the pack.

Best Cinematography: Roger Deakins – There’s very little doubt in my mind the amazing Deakins gets the win for 1917.

Gill’s Pick: Same – The cinematography in Hollywood is very good, and I’m sure it works well in the black and white The Lighthouse, but Deakin’s work in 1917 is mind-blowing.

Best Production Design: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood – The late 60s Hollywood setting is amazing in every scene, and this movie totally deserves the win. 1917 could come through though because again, the sheer amount of time, effort, and thought that had to go into planning this all out is really something else.

Gill’s Pick: Same – It’s just too good not to win.

Best Film Editing: Parasite – This is another film that could take home multiple awards, and my guess is that this is one of them. Is it deserving? I have no idea. I haven’t seen this movie.

Gill’s Pick: Ford v Ferrari – This was a really enjoyable movie, and the sound and editing worked really well with the leads’ performances.

Best Visual Effects: The Irishman – I had a slight critique with the de-aging effects, but it really is quite impressive. I think it’s enough that the Academy will see it my way.

Gill’s Pick: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker – It may seem weird for me to give Episode IX an Oscar, but the visual effects were actually pretty impressive. I do think Avengers: Endgame was actually a step up from Infinity War with visual effects, but there’s just a bit too much that’s cartoony to take home an Oscar.

Best Documentary Short: Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You’re a Girl) – Have I seen any of these? No, of course not. I’m going simply off of intuition here from looking at the nominees, and for whatever reason, I actually feel a little confident this movie might win.

Gill’s Pick: Same.

Best Short Film (Live Action): The Neighbors’ Window – Here comes my most in-depth review yet. Why did I choose this film? Cuz.

Best Short Film (Animated): Sister – I like the poster, okay?

Gill’s Pick: Same. I guess.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets + 2019: Year in Review + Golden Globes Predictions

          

  I’m all about weird. Weird can be good. Portland’s motto is, “Keep Portland Weird.” But man, this a weird movie. And it’s not very good. Where did it all go wrong? Is it worth watching? Do I need to read obscure French comics from over half a century ago to know what the heck is going on? Let’s start from the beginning and see where that takes us.

            So there I was, pondering in my mind what I should watch. I got an inkling to watch sci-fi, and I knew about how Valerian bombed at the domestic box office and the trailers left more confusion and questions than clarity and answers, but I was determined to watch a sci-fi film and hoped that the visuals would be enough to compensate for anything else.

            Of all the ways I’ve seen introductions for movies and explanations and quick backstories—especially for something set in the 28^th century—I actually really enjoyed the beginning of this movie. I have no knowledge of the source material, and a montage of greeting new alien races to the space station Alpha as it gradually grows to the titular size over the centuries is both a clever way to set the stage for the story without need of dialogue and a chance to show-off the impressive visuals to come.

            We move to an alien planet where these blue creatures live a blissful life and use an animal to convert one pearl into many as a ritual for their species’ survival. Or something. Look, the visuals are great, sure; however, it does feel like they used motion-capture just because they could. Personally, I think the aliens could’ve looked more fluid and overall better with makeup and costume. And I’ll go ahead and add this here, but it applies to everywhere in the movie: even though the backgrounds look really cool and are really good, it’s hard not to notice that it’s still clearly green (or blue) screen. They don’t get depth perception quite right, so the characters travel to many different areas, but it’s hard to put aside the fact that it’s noticeably CGI. This is most notable on the planet where Valerian and Laureline hold their first mission.

            Ah, Valerian and Laureline. People went at this movie for the lack of chemistry between the leads. And, well, that’s pretty valid. I think Dane DeHaan is a talented actor; he wasn’t really a great fit as Harry Osborne in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, but he played the correct role in Chronicle. But a suave leading man he is not. I also didn’t hate Cara Delevingne in Suicide Squad. Laureline has this sarcastic, hard-to-get personality which works well for Delevingne, but I guess through his pure determination, she succumbs to Valerian’s advances because the script tells her to do so. But this isn’t 100% on the actors. Director Luc Besson and his script need to take lots of blame as well. The back and forth between the leads is seriously some of the choppiest dialogue. There’s supposed to be clever one-liners, and Luc Besson makes them hold their expressions to wait for audience laughter, but it’s just not good. The one-liners may be the worst aspect of the film it’s that bad. So yes, better dialogue would make the chemistry between the leads more believable, but they honestly never have any heart-to-heart moments anyways. Laureline balks at Valerian’s previous conquests and he brushes that under the rug with some poor dialogue, then he makes super rash and impulsive decisions like asking Laureline to marry him, and they proceed to spend over the half the movie talking about how Laureline never expressly says no and Valerian smirks. I wish I was making this stuff up.

            Valerian and Laureline receive a mission to retrieve the last converter (the pearl-pooping beast from the beginning) before it ends up in the wrong hands. Through tons of CGI, Valerian sneaks his way to where the trade is being held, but Valerian isn’t actually there. He uses some glasses and a MegaMan arm buster machine thing and that transfers him through dimensions. Or something. This is the first real action scene and is clearly supposed to be light-hearted and cool at the same time where Valerian has to wiggle his way out of the situation where he’s sort of in one place and what happens there affects what happens to him on the other planet. It actually makes more sense visually than trying to write it out, but that’s beside the point. It’s a scene that feels sort of in line of what the prequel Star Wars movies did early on, but since nobody in the world is familiar with the comics, we have no idea what’s going on. It’s decent and the technology is cool, but it’s supposed to be a stand-out scene in the movie, and it’s pretty forgettable.

            They end up going to the city of a thousand planets to report back to Commander Filitt, and everything starts to slowly tie back together. Clive Owen is a great actor, and you’re doing yourself a disservice if you haven’t seen Inside Man or especially Children of Men. But casting him as Commander Filitt leads to a very predictable plot twist that ties everything together. When the source material is very vague, and the story isn’t compelling, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is the result.

            To chug the movie over the 2-hour line, there’s a random moment where Laureline touches a butterfly but it’s literally actually bait, and she gets kidnapped by these huge, ugly creatures. Valerian decides he needs a shapeshifter to infiltrate their place, so he walks around a district (and I give credit for using the song “We Trying to Stay Alive” during this) clearly inspired by Attack of the Clones and finds a strip club run by an eccentric Ethan Hawke who just wanted to be in a big-budget sci-film probably. And then we get a pole dance from shapeshifting Rihanna, whose character’s name is Bubble, and it’s entirely too long. She shapeshifts and it periodically cuts to Valerian’s reactions and the whole shebang is one of the strangest things in this movie. Turns out Rihanna is basically a slave and just wants out, and she helps Valerian because he sets her free. And the only emotional payoff this movie attempts is by killing her off 5 minutes later. It doesn’t work, and I’m still not even positive how she died because they go to save Laureline with swords and Rihanna’s true form is blue goo. They show up just in time, too, because Laureline was about to be lunch for the big, ugly, dumb creatures. To be fair those creatures actually were the most fun part about the movie. Oh, and yeah, I totally did just spoil some parts of this movie, but I honestly don’t see anyone getting concerned over it, so we’re rightfully moving on.

            There’s other parts to the movie like a space chase that should’ve been much cooler than it was, and Valerian puts a jellyfish creature’s butt on his face at one point to find the last point where Laureline was seen and breaks the record of being under the butt for a minute. Or something. Again, not making this up. There’s also the very forgettable climax that brings back the blue creatures from the beginning. Everything works out. The universe is saved. Good stuff like that. Or something.

            I really wanted to like Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets more than I did. There are some impressive visuals, but I really think it could’ve benefited from more practical effects, and that could’ve eased the film on its massive $200 million budget. Besides just not being a very good movie, there’s a variety of reasons why I think this movie was a commercial failure. For example, I understand this was based off a comic series called Valerian and Laureline. Just call the movie that, or at least think of a less strange subtitle than “City of a Thousand Planets”—the movie is already strange enough. But anyways. I enjoyed Luc Besson’s Lucy, but besides the opening, his directing and especially his writing have issues. Dane DeHaan is a talented but sort of niche actor, and Cara Delevingne is sort of the same, but she’s also way more attractive. They don’t work well together, and it’s all the more apparent with poor character development and choppy writing. The world building doesn’t hold up for casual viewers; maybe it does for fans of the comics, but that doesn’t help much when the source material is French and you make this an English movie. Really though, the story just isn’t compelling. It moves itself along, but the action and dialogue aren’t nearly fun enough to carry the bulk. If you’re looking for sci-fi, feel free to skip over this one.  


In Brief:

• 2019 Year in Review:
• The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part has fun moments, but some of the plot is illogical and is overall a step down from the original.
• You can’t expect too much from Happy Death Day 2 U, but it’s a decent enough follow-up from the original.
• How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World is a great, beautiful way to cap off one of the best animated trilogies ever.
• Captain Marvel is mediocre Marvel fare with some of the worst action scenes in the MCU.
• Us is a great second-outing for Jordan Peele and is the best horror movie of the year, and Lupita Nyong’o shines.
• Shazam! is one of the most fun DC movies, even if the post-credits scene meant nothing to me. Zachary Levi is great, and it’s always a smart move to cast Djimon Hounsou (who is also in the MCU).
• People got excited for Hellboy, and that quickly went away. Didn’t watch.
• Avengers: Endgame happened. I’m not a die-hard Marvel guy, but it is a very solid movie overall. But don’t tell me it’s the best movie ever or anything. C’mon. Also, points deducted for being re-released a couple months later and trying to validate that by adding what was it 7 minutes worth of content? You wanted to be the highest grossing movie of all-time. It’s okay to admit.
• I think I enjoyed Detective Pikachu more than most. Solid movie. The aesthetic also worked out. Not so much for Sonic the Hedgehog.
• John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum is insane. Please keep making action movies like this. Freaking so good. 
• Olivia Wilde got mad that not many people saw Booksmart. Oh well.
• X-Men: Dark Phoenix happened. Hahaha….. Yeah, didn’t see it.
• Toy Story 4 is better than Toy Story 3, but it’s not the best. But my goodness is Pixar getting good at animation.
• Yesterday is a fun movie. Ed Sheeran even has a nice role. There’s even a much-too-short cameo for the great Michael Kiwanuka.
• Spider-Man: Far from Home isn’t better than the first, but Jake Gylenhaal is a great addition.
• The Lion King is possibly my fav—oh sorry. The Lion King (1994) is possibly my favorite animated movie of all time.
• Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood is overly long and isn’t Tarantino’s finest work, but it’s still a really good movie overall. DiCaprio is great, but Pitt is even better. Oh, and Margot Robbie should’ve gotten more screen time.
• Ready or Not is a strange and quirky horror movie, but I really enjoyed it. Samara Weaving is great.
• Ad Astra is much more contemplative than it is action oriented. Cool visuals, interesting father/son dynamic, and overall good movie. But not for everyone.
• The New York Times reaches a new low on its review of Joker. It’s not even a review. It’s just dumb social commentary with absolutely no substance. Sorry, ranting over. Joker is really, really good. It’s definitely not perfect, but Joaquin Phoenix really puts everything in his performance. I also don’t think it’s fair trying to compare the Jokers. Each one—Hamill, Nicholson, and Ledger—have their own identity and merits they bring. Oh, and there’s that weird Leto one as well. And his wasn’t even terrible, he just happened to appear in his movie for the exact wrong amount of time—like a glorified cameo.
• Doctor Sleep is a hard movie to define. I guess I’d call it a drama. The only horror elements really are what it takes from The Shining. Ewan McGregor is good, but the introspective, reflective tone and pacing don’t add up to a great movie. The writer/director clearly has a love for the source material, but it’s not enough. And as much as I love Emily Blunt, her villainess role falls short.
• Ford v Ferrari is a little long, but it’s also good fun and pleasantly included more racing sequences than I expected.
• Either John Wick or Knives Out goes down as the most fun I had at the movie theater this year. Easily in my top 3 movies I watched this year.
• The Irishman is good—even very good. But it’s not great. The de-aging is certainly impressive, and we could be here awhile if I started talking about the star-studded cast. Quick shout outs to Ray Romano and Jesse Plemons.
• My top 3 films of 2019 are John Wick 3, Knives Out, and it’s rounded out with Marriage Story. Holy smokes, this is an impressive film. Already a huge fan of Driver and Johansson, they both deliver impeccable performances. I have a few small complaints here and there, but they really are small complaints because this movie is great. In fact, I’ll go ahead and call Marriage Story my Best Picture. There, I said it. Can’t take it back now.
• Jumanji: The Next Level isn’t like amazing, but if you’re looking for a good time where you can shut off your brain, this movie does the job.
• Love Clint Eastwood but I didn’t go see Richard Jewell. It appears no one did.
• I was generous in my Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker review. Yes, it’s entertaining. But that’s really it. There’s so many dumb elements besides the illogical and coincidental and throwback elements. And it all starts with a lackluster title.
• Haven’t gotten around to 1917 yet, but that’s one I will for sure go watch.
• I'm considering doing a total recap of the decade of movies (2010-2019) and putting that out as its own post. If you'd like to see that, or want to make sure there's a film I don't forget to include in that, please let me know!

• With the Golden Globes coming up, let’s go ahead and deal out our predictions
• Best Motion Picture – Drama: I really want to see 1917, but I don’t think that would win anyways. It’s tough to see them not giving it to The Irishman, but my personal pick definitely would go to Marriage Story. That was a great movie. Glad to see Joker get a nod.
• Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy: I admittedly only saw Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood and Knives Out. However, Knives Out is good enough to where it will get my pick. Seriously, anyone remotely interested in a clever murder mystery with quirky characters, something like an Agatha Christie novel, should check this movie out. It was so much fun.
• Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama: I’ve been clamoring for years that Scarlett Johansson isn’t just beautiful, but that she’s also super talented. Loved her in Lost in Translation, and her performance in Marriage Story is fantastic.
• Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama: Christian Bale was typically good in Ford v Ferrari, but he’s not winning. I’m a huge fan of Adam Driver, and anyone who hasn’t seen him as the best part in the new Star Wars trilogy as Kylo Ren should check out his Ted Talk and his performance in BlackKklansman. He is equally good as ScarJo in Marriage Story, but I can’t give my vote to anyone besides Joaquin Phoenix for Joker. 
• Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy: I wasn’t familiar with her, but I’m glad to see Ana de Armas from Knives Out get a nod. I think there’s enough buzz for Awkwafina to win, however. Not for Jumanji where she was admittedly good, but for The Farewell.
• Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy: Daniel Craig’s KFC accent didn’t bother me nearly as much the second time as it did the first time (yes, I saw Knives Out twice it was that good). It doesn’t add to the movie, but I guess he had to be just as quirky as the other characters. But his performance is still good. But not good enough to win. I actually preferred Brad Pitt over Leonardo DiCaprio in Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood, but DiCaprio is still well-deserving. Didn’t see Rocketman, but I’m going to assume they give the win to Taron Egerton.
• Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture: I like Laura Dern, but I don’t think she wins. I don’t like Jennifer Lopez, so I hope she doesn’t win. I’m going to say it’s a toss up between Kathy Bates and Annette Bening. Let’s go with Bening.
• Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture: As I said I really liked Brad Pitt. Both are really good, but Al Pacino is better than Joe Pesci in The Irishman. The win, however, goes to Tom Hanks.
• Best Director – Motion Picture: Tarantino was good, but it wasn’t quite his best effort. From what I’ve heard, Sam Mendes could definitely get it. I also know close to nothing about Parasite except that it’s one of the best movies of the year. The safe bet is Scorcese, but let’s go with Todd Phillips for the upset with Joker.
• Best Screenplay – Motion Picture: Although I have just a couple small issues with it, I’m giving this to Noah Baumbach for Marriage Story. And I think Rian Johnson should’ve been nominated for Knives Out. I’m betting he gets a nod at the Oscars though.
• Best Motion Picture – Animated: How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World isn’t the best in the trilogy, but that’s okay because it’s actually a fantastic and slightly overlooked trilogy. But you don’t bet against Pixar. Toy Story 4 for the win.
• Best Motion Picture – Foreign Language: I’m going to act like I know what I’m talking about and say Parasite easily gets the win.
• Best Original Score – Motion Picture: I have to be honest and say that Randy Newman sounds like he’s doing an impression of Randy Newman in Marriage Story. The voters probably disagree with me and give it to him. For me, let’s again go with the upset and give it to Hildur Gudnadottir for Joker.
• Best Original Song – Motion Picture: Let’s go with Frozen 2. Why not.
• Best Television Series – Drama: Now we really start getting to where I don’t have an opinion. With that said and with total confidence, let’s go with The Morning Show. I actually do feel confident in saying Big Little Lies won’t win.
• Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy: Fleabag. Sure.
• Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Fosse/Verdon. Keep Catch-22 in mind as an upset. Again, this is total conjecture.
• Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television: I really like Kaitlyn Dever (she was even in Uncharted 4!), but she doesn’t beat out Helen Mirren or Michelle Williams. Let’s go with Williams.
•  Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television: I have no idea, but Sam Rockwell is on a roll, let’s choose him. 
• Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama: Olivia Colman or Jennifer Aniston. Let’s say Colman.
• Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama: After his win in Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami Malek follows that up with a win here.
• Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy: Rachel Brosnahan. Possibly Phoebe-Waller Bridge. But Brosnahan.
• Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy: Bill Hader wins.
• Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Toni Collette
• Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: I’m guessing Andrew Scott should win, but they give it to Henry Winkler.

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Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker With All the Spoilers

           

Yeah, there was no way I wasn’t going to review this. Don’t worry, I’ve been watching plenty of movies, I just haven’t gotten around to reviews. But enough about me, let’s dissect Episode IX. A couple heads ups: I will do my best to mark spoilers in red. There was just no way I could review this film completely without lacing it with spoilers throughout. Also, I come in with the perspective that The Last Jedi was great, and it was certainly much better than The Force Awakens.

            Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker may as well be called Fan Service: The Movie. From Lando to freaking Emperor Palpatine to even Ewoks, there are so many callbacks to the saga in an attempt to make this movie a culmination of everything—and most of it feels pointless. I actually enjoyed how they brought Lando back, and even giving Chewie the medal he didn’t receive at the end of A New Hope is slightly clever if also super fan servicey, but it really made the film feel creatively deprived. A little harsh? Eh, maybe, but here’s a slightly positive spin on it. The fan service feels especially overt when contrasting it to the sequences in the middle of the movie that I feel are the strongest because it’s stuff I like to see in a Star Wars film—the core group traveling to interesting new planets and overcoming conflicts while there. Granted, the names of some of the places and characters sometimes feel more like a parody of Star Wars than actually sounding like Star Wars names, but that’s a small gripe. Oh, and Babu Frik is the best new addition. Love that little guy. Keri Russell also has a fine role as Zorii Bliss. But hey Disney, if you’re going to cast Keri Russell, show me the Keri Russell.

            I can’t hold it back any longer, I have to talk about it. Expect a lot of red coming up. Why the heck is Rey a Palpatine? Let’s talk about the good and the bad here. The good: it conveniently ties in with Palpatine returning as the main baddie, it explains why Rey is so strong with the Force, and it also means Rey is not a Skywalker by blood which I really didn’t want. All the bad: it very conveniently ties in with Palpatine as the antagonist. It undermines the great theme established in The Last Jedi that there’s hope that it doesn’t matter where you come from, you can be one with the Force. There are other ways to insert drama, plot, and character growth than through familial conflict. Rey’s journey works just as well—nay, better—by keeping her as a nobody who rises up to take down the Dark Side. But making Rey a Palpatine branches off into what I may have disliked the most about the movie. I felt that killing off Snoke in The Last Jedi was one of the boldest and best moves in the entire trilogy, partly because he was a carbon copy of Darth Sidious, but it feels less impactful now that The Rise of Skywalker has Palpatine be the puppeteer and everything has to mirror the original trilogy. When it became abundantly clear to me that Palpatine was the main villain, I tucked it to the back of my mind, but there was really no doubt that Kylo Ren would end up turning in this film. They try their best to persuade the audience otherwise that it wouldn’t happen, but I think we all knew. And I’m not against Ren turning and returning as Ben; in fact, his interactions with Rey were my favorite part of The Last Jedi and continued as a highlight in this film, but it was another predictable element in a movie that really tries having some incoherent twists.

            Want to quickly say here that although it’s a little sad that Ben and Rey couldn’t end up together, having him use the rest of his Force powers to save Rey is the best the movie gets at an emotional impact, and it’s a fitting end to his story. Anyways, let’s talk more of the story. Yes, I believe the middle is the best because it’s when the movie is the most original, but if you think too hard on it, there’s just so many aspects that don’t work. They have the abridged version of the Death Star scenes disabling the tractor beams and rescuing the princess, but it’s now using Ren’s ship. And that was after a fake out death with Chewie. And General Hux as the spy? C’mon. That’s just cheesy. Yes, his resentment of Ren is well-established, but stuff like Hux as a spy feels like there was a writer’s room for the movie going over ideas from the first or second draft of the script and this somehow made it through the cracks. I seriously think they were like oh crap, we have this principal actor in Domhnall Gleeson who hasn’t died yet in the series, what can we do to make him relevant? Speaking of the writers, the original director for this film was going to be Jurassic World director Colin Trevorrow before he was fired, but he still gets a story writing credit. I don’t really have an opinion on that, just wanted to point it out.

            Okay, fine, let’s go back to a couple other things I enjoyed. John Williams is John Williams. That’s all I should have to say about that. They minimized Rose’s role! Abrams did something right! Man, she was easily the worst part about The Last Jedi. One little blink-and-you-miss-it callbacks that I caught was in the climax. When Lando comes in with the fleet, there’s a shot with an old man for no more than three seconds and he says something to Lando like it’s good to be doing this again with Lando or something like that. And he’s completely unrecognizable because, ya know, he old. But if you look in the credits, Wedge does make an appearance in the film, and I’m 99% sure that’s who it was, and Wedge was one of my favorite side characters from the original trilogy. I approve of the yellow lightsaber Rey wields at the end of the movie. I have no idea where she got it from, but it does fit her. One last thing before I get critical again. Adam Driver is a phenomenal actor, and I think he’s the most talented of the cast. He’s also amazing in BlackKklansman, and him and Scarlett Johansson are Oscar-worthy in Marriage Story.

            This movie is the Captain Marvel of fight scenes. That’s not a good thing. Captain Marvel I think had some of the weakest action of all Marvel films (sorry not sorry), and the flight sequences and lightsaber fights in this movie are sadly some of the most forgettable in the saga. I’ll give credit to Abrams for the Millennium Falcon scene against the TIE Fighters on Jakku in The Force Awakens, and the opening of this movie is good, but it’s also not memorable. Rey and Ren’s showdown on Exegol is a really cool locale, but the choreography was a huge letdown. To be fair the moment Rey uses the Force to hand the second lightsaber over to Ren to help him out against the Knights of Ren is admittedly really cool. I was also glad to see the return of the Knights of Ren, they made for a satisfactory side villain group. But if we’re still being fair here, I would’ve loved to see Rey do more with two lightsabers than to go Deathly Hallows Part 2 on Palpatine and his Force lightning. Also, I would take back all of my critiques if instead of deflecting the lightning back, Rey beheaded Sidious like Anakin did to Dooku in Revenge of the Sith.

            Here’s a little sidenote regarding Abrams. I was led to believe that his favorite thing in the world was using lens flares. But after this movie, I’m now thinking it’s using camera movement to replace transition shots. Seriously, there’s so many times where the camera first focuses on the background or scenery, then it swoops over to a character either talking or moving. It helps keep the movie going, but it’s also slightly jarring and is well overused. Similarly, there’s a ridiculous amount of shots pretty much made for the trailers. Like Kylo Ren makes so many poses in the movie. When you see it in quick succession in a trailer, it looks cool. But these cool, individual shots feel out of place and unnecessary when they’re in the middle of a movie.

            Let’s talk a bit more about some principal characters. One of the things I disliked the most about The Last Jedi was how Finn had a completed arc, but he wasn’t allowed to sacrifice himself. Freaking Rose. And with Rose used sparingly, that leaves Finn searching for a bit of an identity in The Rise of Skywalker. At the end of the movie, he looks around and watches all the characters embracing with one another and it’s actually pretty good. And his hug with Poe and Rey is well-deserved, but it also doesn’t really work as a fitting conclusion to him in my books. They have him bro out with Poe for much of the movie, and that banter is overall relatively good, and there’s a moment near the end where Poe makes him like co-general, but they don’t really bring that back up. Maybe that was the implication, but if so, I think they did a poor job of showing it. Like even newbie Jannah looks to venture off on an adventure with Lando. They easily could’ve had a quick interaction like that with Poe and Finn. And speaking of Poe, overall, he is one of the best here. His sense of humor is the same as it was in The Force Awakens, and that’s mostly good. But what stands out more is how he looks to Leia for guidance on how to lead. Considering we unfortunately no longer have Carrie Fisher with us, I really think they did about as much as they could with Leia. Yeah, the dialogue is a little stilted, but that gets a pass.

            One aspect of The Last Jedi that I’m still conflicted about is Luke’s death at the end. I came around to making peace with it since I had hope he would return as a ghost in this movie. And I think his role could’ve been expanded more. With that said what little role he does have didn’t hit the mark for me. I really wish I liked him more than I did. He throws a couple witty lines Rey’s way, but that’s basically it.

            Overall, this movie just isn’t bold enough to take risks. It wants the emotional impact of supposedly killing off main characters, but it also wants the emotional payoff of their happy endings as well. There aren’t any real stakes until the climax comes around. I find it interesting that Abrams doubles down on the nostalgia in this movie. Even though I have come to not care for how he handled it in The Force Awakens, it feels even more clammed in in this film. I really do have lots of problems with this film. This by no means is my favorite Star Wars movie out there. It’s not even close. I think The Last Jedi is the best of the trilogy. And you may disagree with that. And I’m here to tell you you’re wrong and that’s okay. But I digress. I have been conflicted about a new trilogy for a while, but I have come around to take it for what it is. There are many issues here and even more if you think too hard on it. But at the end of the day, I still enjoyed myself. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is entertaining enough. If you’re a fan and somehow managed to avoid all these spoilers, go ahead and watch the movie. Honestly, I’m now just looking forward to moving on from the Skywalker Saga so they can create original content. Be more adventurous like Rogue One. But Disney, take your time and treat the stories with care. That’s what the fans truly deserve, and that’s what Star Wars as a franchise deserves. And may the Force be with you always.



In Brief:

• Holy smokes, where to begin. I’ve done a great job of watching movies, just not so great on writing the reviews. As always if there’s a movie you’d like me to review or would just like my opinion on, feel free to let me know. And let me know your opinion on The Rise of Skywalker! Whether you agree or disagree, I love hearing others’ thoughts and how they may have interpreted something differently.
• As I mentioned earlier, Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver shine in Marriage Story. This movie reeks of a possible review, so I’ll keep this brief. There are some standout moments, and despite the writer/director feeling a bit stuck up in some of his choices, this was one of the best movies of the year.
• The most fun I had at the movies in at least the last six months was from watching The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson’s Knives Out. I’m a huge fan of Agatha Christie stuff like Murder on the Orient Express, and he emulates that style of murder mystery in the best way possible. Even if Daniel Craig’s honky-tonk accent is unnecessary. 
• The Irishman is good. It’s even very good. But I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s one of the best movies I saw this year. The de-aging is nearly flawless, the only distracting element being Robert De Niro’s super blue eyes. But it does have Ray Romano. So that’s obviously a plus. And Jesse Plemons who is an underutilized actor.
• Joker is very impressive in its psychology and Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker laugh is the stuff of legends. It’s uncomfortably good.
• Without a doubt I will be watching 1917. That’s from Sam Mendes, and if you’d like to see more from him, obviously there’s Skyfall, but what I just watched was Road to Perdition. It’s a very good film that sees Tom Hanks and Daniel Craig going against their typecasts.
• I am confused by the Tenet trailer, Christopher Nolan’s next film. And I don’t think I would have it any other way.