3 Shark Tornadoes

I’ve been trying to get motivated to write a review for a film recently, but nothing really clicked. I considered an early Quentin Tarantino film, but I wasn’t sure how much I would add to the discussion. I was very close to doing a Finding Dory review-- talking about Pixar using more camera techniques and whatnot-- but decided against that as well. I will say, however, one review I saw said to imagine a scale for Pixar sequels ranging from Cars 2 to Toy Story 3, and Finding Dory would rank around a Monsters University. That’s really probably most of what you need to know. But then, after weeks of grueling searches for the right movie to review, I stumbled upon a recent trilogy-- one that people might even consider cult classics. The drama, romance, comedy, and plot twists! Oh yes, the title of this review was definitely not a giveaway. I’m reviewing the Sharknado films (because I hate myself).

Starring Ian Ziering and Tara Reid, these are Syfy films with huge storms that sweep up sharks in tornadoes and carry them over to coastal states (California, New York, and Florida respectively). Do you want to know how or why this is considered possible? Well, besides throwaway snippets of global warming and a 2nd grade science lesson of warm and cold air colliding, the movie purposefully doesn’t make much of an effort. And let’s be honest, if you’re watching one of these films, then you really can’t care that much either. One of my favorite things (I said favorite hahaha) is how a character will be like, “Sharks in tornadoes over land?? That can’t be possible!” Then someone like the main character will say authoritatively, “It totally is possible, and it is happening.” Of course, side characters hear the confidence in that voice and think well, if he says so then who am I to say otherwise? They shrug it off, and continue to the next area the plot drags them.

I came in with the mentality of this is going to be so bad it’s funny. I am hear to say the first 2 are just bad. So bad. Jaws looks more realistic. That was unfair, I apologize. I should never belittle Jaws so much as to compare it with these films. The lack of budget and writers is so evident in the first that you can create a checklist of cliches concerning both story and character. If you’re wondering if one of your items on the list happens in the films, the answer is yes. I will say the weird sensation of the first allowed a little more freedom with the second, including more ridiculous cameos, but that doesn’t help much. And the characters annoy me. The sharks purposefully are either really good or really bad at eating the humans-- simply depending on if the character is important or if the story calls for more tension. It’s a mess that didn’t receive much from me except a few chuckles mixed with plenty of groans.

With all of that being said, the third actually delivered with some clever jokes and cameos. It made it semi-enjoyable. Well, probably until the sharks started swimming in space. “How do the sharks survive in space?” “How do they survive in tornadoes?” To both of you characters, those are excellent questions! And the fact that the movie recognizes it does not save it from explaining it. Oh what am I saying, I just want to get to the end so that the screen can say fin.

If you have a suggestion for a film for me to watch or review, please feel free to comment. I have more ideas on what to do with this blog, but some of them would take up a bunch of time. So in the meantime, hopefully I can com back soon with a review with a serious analysis and insight. Until next time, be like Batman and always carry your shark-repellent spray.