Give Twilight Another Chance

Having never read the books, I’ve always found it easier to be a fan of this series. What truly works for this film is the acting. Seriously, hear me out. Yes, I admit, you can get more emotions out of emojis, but there’s something about the subtlety in the facial expressions. It gets to the point where you’re on the edge of your seat in anticipation of the next time you might see a hint that Edward’s face will give a twitch.

            I guess you could call me a mix of a traditionalist and an innovator. So if you’re going to give me vampires, you better respect their origins while updating them to keep things fresh. Which is exactly what Twilight does! Never before have I been so enthralled by such a twist that has vampires sparkle in sunlight.

            Now if you’re like me, you’re a bit bored of Twilight already. So let’s take a break and talk about something more interesting. Baseball season starts in just a couple days! I think I’ll take this time to help people out by giving pro tips on how to swing a bat at a baseball. The most important aspect isn’t the swing itself; rather, it’s the approach to the plate. You gotta have the right walk-up song, so here are a couple of my top picks: “Stuck in the Middle With You,” “Tik Tok,” “Pumped Up Kicks,” “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” “Yesterday,” “Theme from Schindler’s List,” “Strangers in the Night,” and my personal favorite “La Marseillaise.” Before stepping into the batter’s box, retighten your batting gloves, spit into your right hand, then left hand (order is very important), and rub them together. Kick the bat with your toes, step into the box, and touch the plate with your bat. Now that you’re all set to hit a 3 pointer, let’s go over the basics of the swing. If you’re a righty, right hand goes on bottom with left hand over it. If you’re a leftie, it doesn’t matter because you’re striking out. Now if you can imagine a lumberjack chopping wood, it’s the exact same swinging motion. I think you’re good to go!

            Anyways, Twilight stars Jennifer Lawrence as Tris and the entire cast of Glee for the supporting roles. In a shocking and controversial move, the studio didn’t hire a director because they had complete faith in the cast to give it their all. Rumor has it that due to budget cuts, one-third of the film was shot on the iPhone 4. Definitely a bold strategy, Cotton.

            The film was almost completed in post-production, but due to unforeseen circumstances, the editor had a heart attack and died. The scenes he wasn’t able to cut made it to the final film, drawing praise for the avante-garde plot structure. After the red carpet premiere, Taylor Lautner’s mom herself gave the film a raving 3 ½ stars, stating, “Obviously, this movie is groundbreaking. I would have given it 4 stars, but like I always tell my son, there’s always room for improvement.” Reportedly, after hearing this review, Taylor Lautner went back to gym to hit the shake weights—convinced the half-star loss was due to his underwhelming physique.

            If you’re looking for a jolly good time, going to see a movie is the perfect way to do so. I’m not saying this movie needs to be Twilight, but if it is, watching at 9:30 p.m.  on a Saturday night by yourself cuddled in a snuggie is definitely the ideal way to maximize viewing pleasure.