Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

I saw that new dino movie, and there is plenty to discuss, so let’s get right to it. The beginning is flat out terrible. I hated it. Like, I did not come into this movie expecting an Aaron Sorkin script-- or even a Michael Crichton script-- but this was just bad. The opening scene may be the worst of it filled with cliches, conveniently stupid characters, and utter predictability. It was obvious the film was determined to start off with action and a subplot to be brought back at the end of the film, and they just went with the first idea that was thought up. After this abysmal opening, the transitioning from showing where our 2 main attractive leads are to how they end up at the next big action set piece is chopped up with throwaway narrative. Seriously, Owen (Chris Pratt) has supposedly moved on from both Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard-- filmmaker and actor Ron Howard’s daughter) and dinosaurs in these past 3 years. He meets Claire for a drink, and all she does is say that he is better than this and that there is a plane tomorrow. That is all she does to try to convince him to come on this suicidal rescue mission. And it works! One look back at his time with baby Blue, and Owen suddenly remembers about his caring side for these animals. His cabin will have to wait for another film to be finished.

    And now on to the island eruption escape rescue mission prominently featured in the trailer. Surprise, I mostly did not care for this at all. Ted Levine will forever have a special place in my heart for his role as Captain Stottlemyer in the show Monk. And his acting honestly isn’t bad. But his character is atrocious. A greedy, evil mercenary in a Jurassic movie? What a surprise! Side character Zia is also super boring to watch, and Franklin is more annoying than he is funny. Chris Pratt did his worst Leo DiCaprio impression from The Wolf of Wall Street when he tries escaping the flowing lava in his tranquilized state. The scene with the dinosaur in the lava-splitting control room is cool to look at but also suffers from being mostly ridiculous. And when you really think about it, the fact that the island blows up right as they are completing their rescue mission to allow the most implausible of escapes just really tests the limits of what I allow in an action film. 2 more issues: the music up to this point is bland, and there’s a CGI issue. When the movie slows down and takes its time, I think everything looks pretty good overall; but once you add chaos, the movie can’t quite handle all the dinosaurs trying to interact and move with each other in the smoothest of ways. Sorry, one more issue. If you remember the “There’s always a bigger fish” line from Star Wars Episode I, you can apply that to dinosaurs anytime the main characters are in trouble of being devoured.

    There are definitively 2 things that I can look back at from the first half of this film and actually enjoy. I think that at the beginning of the film, having Owen and Claire switch roles from the first film is actually a clever move. Claire is working for a conservation effort desperate to get Congress and lobbyists to save the dinosaurs that are stuck on Isla Nublar that has been threatening to explode, and Owen has retreated to a hermitlike life trying to build a cabin and stay away from the craziness of what happened 3 years ago. It’s a smart way to introduce these characters even if the rest of the opening is butchered. Also, from the island escape scene, the underwater gyrosphere scene is a really awesome and tense shot. I also want to point out that even though I was mostly tough on the first half of this film, I feel like the average moviegoer won’t be as annoyed as I was. I’m being picky about an action film that has dinosaurs in the present day, so many of you honestly probably won’t have all the same problems that I have. And that’s okay. I just want to make everyone aware that the problems are there.

    Now then, it is probably clear by this point that I have talked non stop about the first half of this film with little mention of anything else. So as to not give away anymore of the plot, I’ll try to keep things as vague as possible. But do know that I thought the third act of this film was awesome. The action was suspenseful and thrilling, the filmmaker got creative with some shots, and the dinos shone through. The villain is terrible, but that doesn’t diminish the action for me. In case you forgot from Jurassic Park and World, Dr. Wu is determined to continue his research no matter what the cost, and there is a shady corporation that plans to use these dinosaurs as weapons. Oh, and the film has James Cromwell as basically an exact replacement for John Hammond.

    But if you put the human motives aside, the entire third act is pretty great. And I believe I can explain why. Let’s take a trip down memory lane to the amazing Jurassic Park. You do have the likes of "Hello, Newman" Wayne Knight as a greedy two-timer trying to steal the dino DNA, but he is never the focal point. He gets the action set and rolling, but the emphasis is always on the dinosaurs. Granted, Michael Crichton did a great job writing the characters, but it isn’t the human-to-human interactions that make the movie so beloved. It is the dinosaur-to-human threat. Spielberg knew this. The first half of Fallen Kingdom did not. The dinosaurs are constrained while the plot is moved forward solely by humans. This contrast is even more evident once the third act kicks in and the dinos are unleashed. The audience is not terrified by black market auction dealings; no, it is when a T-Rex or Abdominus Rex or Indo Raptor has little regard for who is good and who is evil and is simply on the hunt. And having Cromwell’s granddaughter Maisie Lockwood--  the best side character for the record-- part of the action ups the ante of the danger of the situation appropriately. Heck, the music also improves tremendously. As for the ending of the film, there are some cool ideas implemented, and it certainly brings the series to a point of no return. How the eventual third film will handle it is completely unknown by me, but hey, it makes me curious and enthusiastic about what will come.

    I believe a good chunk of people will find the first half to be anywhere from bearable to entertaining, I personally thought it was extremely lazy and poorly executed. What saves this film from a scathing review to an actual recommendation is the third act. The thrilling action is exactly what you are hoping for when you pay to see this movie in theaters. It is gripping, edge-of-your-seat quality stuff, and even though it doesn’t make me forget the beginning, it absolutely helped with my lasting impression. This is not the movie of the summer, but it still is a good time at the theater.

In Brief:

• You may have heard of Hotel Artemis and probably just didn’t care or bother to go watch it. If you see it on TV in a couple years, it’s worth the watch. Not much more though. Hey, it has Dave Bautista and Jeff Goldblum (who holds nothing more than a cameo in Fallen Kingdom), okay.
• Watched I, Tonya. Dialogue was super choppy. Margot Robbie is always a plus though. Decent movie all around with great ice skating shots-- even if it is quite obvious that the triple axel is fake.
• Hearts Beat Loud is a good enough feel-good indie flick with an interesting role for Nick Offerman (and such a different character for Toni Collete after just watching her Hereditary). Go see the movie or don’t, doesn’t matter to me. But check out the songs from it. Really, really enjoyed the soundtrack.
• For all you haters, I just want to put it out there that Jurassic Park 3 is an entertaining film. If you sit back and leave your cares at the door, it’s just a fun movie. Honestly.
• I highly recommend looking up the author Michael Crichton. He wrote the novel and the screenplay for the original Jurassic Park, and his main genre is sci-fi thriller. And he adds a bunch of plausible science to everything and makes you wonder in books like Timeline if time travel could actually be possible. Books like Sphere and Prey are also at the top of my book recommendations.
• Hotel Transylvania 3 is coming out with Adam Sandler back as Drac. I have approximately 0 thoughts about that series; however, I did see Billy Madison recently. Absolutely a dumb film, but for every 3 jokes that I did not laugh at, there was a decent one. And a couple really funny moments-- like Billy pelting kids with dodgeballs. Also also, of everything I have seen from Sandler, what might warrant a review-- or at the very least my recommendation-- is Punch-Drunk Love. It’s a strange and great film.
• Fallen Kingdom may not be the film of the summer, but we all know what will be. That’s right. There is nobody that can stop me from going to see Mission Impossible: Fallout in a couple of weeks. Possibly multiple times. There is a 0% chance that it will be a bad movie.